periods
day 1: Hey, guess what? You're not
pregnant! Hold on, did you hear me? You're
NOT pregnant!
day 2: You're
not pregnant! You're
not pregnant! You're
not pregnant! yOUU'RE NnnoTTt PreGnANTTTttt,,,!!! Ooh, let me
give you some killer cramps just to make sure that you know that
you're not going to be carrying any babies. And whenever you
laugh, sneeze, or get up after sitting for a long time--I'll
have to project my red voice again loudly that you have no need
to take a pregnancy test because you know how sometimes you
don't hear things! Forget that swim party you were going to
go to, no way you'll be able to have fun with my constant
reminders, but you just need to know you aren't pregnant! I
know you'll want to eat chocolate and stay in bed all day but
please just remember you are NOTtttT
PregNantttTT. NOTtttT
PregNantttTT.
day 3: You're not pregnant cha cha cha
cha, cha cha! You're
not pregnant cha cha cha cha, cha cha! You're
not pregnant cha cha cha cha, cha cha! No
fetuses in your uterus this month! Did you hear me this time, do
I need to scream it again? YOU ARE NOT PREGNANT! Don't expect
a bump on your tummy! Did I forget to mention that you're not
pregnant?
day 4: Okay,
I think you get the idea now. You're putting away your pads
and tampons now but I'm not quite 100% sure I got my point
across. I must remind you again and scream blaringly at you when
you are the most unprepared that you are NnnoTTt
PreGnANTTTttt,,,!!! Sorry if I stain your clothes.
day 5: My
voice is tired. I hope I screamed loud enough so you'd know
you are indeed not pregnant. My next visit is
undetermined, but goodbye for now!