A pill for the pain,
Two for the lies.
Three for the smiles,
I have to hide behind.
Four for the times,
when you weren't around,
Five for the reason,
I no longer care.
Ten for the scars,
Twenty for the abuse,
Thirty more for my pitiful excuse.
Forty for my friends,
Fifty for the family,
A promise to them,
that I was never really happy.
Sixty for the thoughts,
Of ending my life,
Seventy just out of spite.
Eighty for being lost,
Ninety for you not seeing,
Ninety eight for you,
And darling?
One Hundred for me.
Mypoem
Copyright 2013 justanotherwittyguy18
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If ii don't come back, this is my suicide note
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"That Night,"
3 weeks ago, all started when my mother and I had found ourselves in yet another huge blown-out argument like the ones we got in almost everyday. That night when all I heard waas my mother screaming " I want that f*cking c*nt out of my house and I want her out of my house now." and all I could feel was the numbness in my head where she had thrown the phone and it had struck me. That night I locked myself in my bedroom hearing the screaming, and the medicene in my hand hadn't looked the same as it once did. That night I said " I'm done trying, I give up, I've surrendered, you've won, you've got me down on my knees, kick me while I'm down." And then I took 52 tylenol. That night on the way to the hospital my vision was black yet my eyes were open. voices were a blur, I felt as if there was puke in my throat, I was so dizzy I couldn't stand, my head was pounding, and I couldn't think along with my arms and legs shaking uncontrollably. That night was the first of 3 nights spent in the E.R with 2 collapsed veins, 36 needles in my arms, adn blood drawn every 3 hours. That night I prayed I would stop breathing. That night was the first of 2 nights I wasn't allowed to eat or drink. That night lead to my stepfather asking my if I wanted him to buy me another bottle of tylenol to eat when I replied I was hungry. That night lead to 5 nights on suicide watch in the BSU. That night lead to dirty looks and whisphers and mumbles in the hallways. That night I had given up hope, but not all hope, because I still had hope that they hadn't given up hope of me for what I had done that night.
3 weeks ago, all started when my mother and I had found ourselves in yet another huge blown-out argument like the ones we got in almost everyday. That night when all I heard waas my mother screaming " I want that f*cking c*nt out of my house and I want her out of my house now." and all I could feel was the numbness in my head where she had thrown the phone and it had struck me. That night I locked myself in my bedroom hearing the screaming, and the medicene in my hand hadn't looked the same as it once did. That night I said " I'm done trying, I give up, I've surrendered, you've won, you've got me down on my knees, kick me while I'm down." And then I took 52 tylenol. That night on the way to the hospital my vision was black yet my eyes were open. voices were a blur, I felt as if there was puke in my throat, I was so dizzy I couldn't stand, my head was pounding, and I couldn't think along with my arms and legs shaking uncontrollably. That night was the first of 3 nights spent in the E.R with 2 collapsed veins, 36 needles in my arms, adn blood drawn every 3 hours. That night I prayed I would stop breathing. That night was the first of 2 nights I wasn't allowed to eat or drink. That night lead to my stepfather asking my if I wanted him to buy me another bottle of tylenol to eat when I replied I was hungry. That night lead to 5 nights on suicide watch in the BSU. That night lead to dirty looks and whisphers and mumbles in the hallways. That night I had given up hope, but not all hope, because I still had hope that they hadn't given up hope of me for what I had done that night.
I'll take these pills praying that it will work, and I'll be gone
forever.
I tried to kill myself last night. Hahahaha.
I think we all just
want
that one person who
would do anything
to keep us from
swallowing
a bottle of
pills.
that one person who
would do anything
to keep us from
swallowing
a bottle of
pills.
sometimes we take action, sometimes we take pills
A bottle of pills at hand.
A bottle of pills on my mind.
A bottle of pills to end my life.
A bottle of pills on my mind.
A bottle of pills to end my life.
You passed pills to those who unfortunately
found you before
they found help
found you before
they found help
