If I'm marrying you and we're not from the same
country you better teach me your language.
There is no way in hell I'm having your aunties calling me ugly with no translation.
There is no way in hell I'm having your aunties calling me ugly with no translation.
All I have going for me is sarcasm, resting bxtch face, huge thighs and really good eyebrows.
"If you keep saying
shlt like that about people," she punctuated, glaring up into
his eyes, "soon enough, you'll make everyone who once
cared about you turn their backs on you."
I know I
have problems.
And most of them are because you are still clothed.
And most of them are because you are still clothed.
Me: I have come to accept my
inevitable singleness. But that's okay. I'm good alone. I
don't need a boyfriend.
*sees a cute couple*
Me: I'm so lonely.
*sees a cute couple*
Me: I'm so lonely.
No but I will
literally yell at you and then be like "Sorry if I was rude
or offended you" or I'll compliment you a few times and
be like "omg I'm sorry for annoying you" like
literally I apologize for everything.
*Computer
automatically sets search engine to
Bing*
Me: Stop trying to make Bing happen, it's not going to happen.
Me: Stop trying to make Bing happen, it's not going to happen.
Life
will
finally
be good
for
me and
someone
always
has
to say
or do
something
to ruin
it
If you don't use
an empty house
to sing obnoxiously
and off key
in your underwear,
you are doing life wrong
an empty house
to sing obnoxiously
and off key
in your underwear,
you are doing life wrong
You
can
tell
how
lazy
humanity
is getting
when Geico can't even finish their slogan
when Geico can't even finish their slogan
