Punny Quotes



I heard the funniest time travel joke tomorrow

 
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if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that George Bush was once informed that
4 Brazilian people were killed in Iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’

 
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*at job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only thing illegal I've done is absolutely
KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man

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you are currently a 'basic bítch' please upgrade to 'premium bítch' for only three payments of $19.95

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do you think prison guards use proactive to prevent breakouts

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"Ahh, you're so hot!"
I whispered to a
plate of food I pulled
out of the microwave.

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why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

because then it'll be a foot

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Need an ark like asap? don't worry, i Noah guy

 
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girl are you on your period because you are ovary acting
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there are over 500 types of pasta. Wow. the pastabilities are endless

 

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