Puns Quotes



A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE
I'm not a fan of fragrant candles... it doesn't really make scents. 



Shoutout to librarians

oh sorry



Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
7. Marry them.
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and he looked at me with so much shame 


"Ahh, you're so hot!"
I whispered to a
plate of food I pulled

out of the microwave.



WHEN PETER PAN PUNCHES THEY NEVERLAND HAHAHAHAHAHA :)


WHEN PETER PAN PUNCHES THEY NEVERLAND HAHAHAHAHAHA :)
Insert dirty Pokemon puns below:
seven days without a pun makes one weak

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