Best Puns Quotes This Month






          Father: How were your test scores, son?
          Me: Underwater.
          Father: What does that mean?
          Me: Below "C" level.
          Me: HA
          Me: HAHAHA
          Dad: HA.
          Dad: HAHAHA
          Dad: You're grounded.





When a clock gets hungry...

it goes back four seconds.



HAHAHA I'm so funny.
Somebody date me ._.




The other day, a woman got wooden breast implants.
A funny punchline would be good here,
wooden  t i t?


 
I really wish I knew sign language,
it'd be pretty handy.

 
You know whats odd to me?
Numbers that aren't divisable by 2.


 
Mercury: I don't like the sun!
Venus: I agree! He's so self-centered!
Mars: He thinks he's such a star!
Jupiter: I know, he thinks everything revolves around him.
Earth: He's soo hot though!
Neptune: I wouldn't know, we aren't very close.



science teacher: "if you curl the fingers of your right hand around a magnet you can see what direction the current flows in. if you don't have a right hand, then we have a problem."

sam: "if you didn't have a right hand, wouldn't you say that you'd be stumped?"

me: "no, no, if you don't have a right hand you just use the one that's left."

sam: "wow, that's actually really handy!"

me: "yeah, as a rule of thumb it works pretty well."

sam: "i'm finding this really funny but i can't quite put my finger on why."

science teacher: "i've got to hand it to you, those puns are currently very amusing but the two of you really need to knuckle down and do your work."

 




in science our teacher showed us an animation of a cartoon John Travolta rubbing his foot on the carpet and then electrocuting himself on a doorhandle and it was called "John Travoltage"
 




what if when pirates felt really emotional about something they clutched their chests and said, "arghhhhh!!! me hearty!!!"
 




Did you guys hear? The energizer bunny was arrested. He was charged with battery.
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