Rant Quotes

I'm left crying on the floor because God won't have me.
Glad to know that now school has finished, a good friend of mine, who has also been a ex bf too many times (some say me being used multiple times is a more correct description of it) has now literally blocked me on almost every social media I have them on, when nothing even happened apart from us both leaving school. Glad to know someone I cared about a great deal, probably never once cared about me
Just a little rant. why the hell you hate me I loved you and clearly u lied about that and almost completely broke me because u had "stuff going on" and you've " never had a shy girlfriend before" despite me doing more with you than I have ever And you daily call me a sl*g, sl*t and wh*re because that makes total sense right? When I said no to certain things? You told me u wouldn't be "like him" and say u love me and then dump me shortly after and u did exactly that in less than a week. You got me to love you and left. And you have the nerve to tell all my friends 8 months later stuff they didn't need to be told like I'm in the wrong. I actually hate you now. I hate u so much. Just a rant I needed to get out
yes hello, my name is hanna, and i fail at life.
i filled out applications, never got an email so I didn't bother checking the messages on my answering machine (because they were places I applied to before. I always got an email before a call.) and now here I am, over a week late, to a call for a job position. I AM SUCH A... GAAAH. here's to hoping they still are interested in me when I call tomorrow.
Why do men have to be so difficult? Why do real relationships take so much work? I thought that once I had Aurora he would grow up at least a little more. He still hardly listens to me though. And in order to get him to do what he needs to I have to not just tell him but also show him how I'm upset after he hasn't done it after so many times of being told. I'm afraid to move back in with him because I don't think things will change for the better. I love him, I really really do. But he needs to be a good dad for Aurora, and he needs to be a good boyfriend to me. He also really needs to get his priorities straight.
so, I am turning 21 in march (too old for this site? maybe. but I shall never leave.) and I wanted a bottle of Viniq as my gift. my mom got it for me super early, which I didn't really want. I wanted it on my birthday for my birthday. but oh well. anyway, she got it for me early, but still said it was my present. AND THEN SHE DRANK IT. like am I the only one that thinks it's messed up when your need for alcohol is bad enough that you have to take away your daughter's birthday gift? I was saving the rest for my godmother to try. but she drank it. she didn't even like it.
I'm gonna rant (because my Facebook friends say stupid crap that ticks me off), so yknow, skip it if you ain't with it
(Obviously based on my own experience, but I left out a good bit to keep is some what broad)

I honestly can't stand it when someone talks about abusive relationships like it is a super easy thing to deal with. It isn't. So many people act like abusers start out smacking you around from the beginning, and that you're just an idiot for staying. I can't say it's never like that, but it's definitely not always like that. Sometimes it starts out as emotional abuse. Subtle at first, where you don't even notice it happening. Backhanded compliments that slowly chip away your self esteem, laying on the guilt over mundane things until you start to feel like the horrible one, putting you down while boosting themselves up. Then it slowly shifts to direct insults. Before you know it, you start to think you deserve that kind of treatment, that they're the best you can get. It's worse if you have people in your life that shame you into the relationship in the first place, which is common (particularly for females.) The "but he's a nice guy, don't be so shallow and rude." kind of lines, that tell women they're not good enough to reject guys they're not interested in, while telling the guys they are better than the women. Which is a whole other issue for another time. Anyway, eventually you're in an emotionally abusive relationship, and you still might not even notice it. Abuse makes for an uncomfortable conversation, so no one ever says anything, so you think it's normal. They occasionally break up the harshness with kindness, which makes you feel lucky briefly. When physical abuse does come into the picture, they play it off as a joke at first. They apologize, and even throw in some tears, and you believe it because "aw. they're crying. they obviously mean it." Everything is fine. You think it's normal to "play" wrestle your partner, even if it hurts too much and leaves bruises, and you have to beg to get them to stop... which they still might not do (but boys like to wrestle and get carried away.. and boys will be boys, right?...) You don't realize that it's not normal to have to apologize profusely over talking to someone they didn't pre-approve of. You didn't realize it isn't normal to constantly be on edge because if you didn't answer the phone or text back instantly, they would threaten to come track you down (and you don't really want to be near them, especially when angry, so you always try to answer.) Eventually, they hit you, and they don't even pretend that they were playing. It kind of knocks some sense into you, and you start to realize it isn't normal. Unfortunately, you also realize this person scares you. This person that you've never successfully gotten off of you. This person you've never been able to fight back. So, yeah, you stay. You don't know what else to do. Everyone sees the bruises, and you don't even lie about them. Every time you try to leave, they either threaten to kill themselves or you. They justify everything by saying it was your own fault. You might eventually find your voice and fight back when they verbally bully you, and it escalates to more violence. Your neck is their favorite place to go. "I'm just joking" choking turns into actual choking. Which is something a lot of people don't come back from. It's a real slap in the face to imply that victims have lost their lives all because they chose not leave, and imply that they're just stubborn because it's "easy to leave."

How I got out of my relationship: he was the kinda guy that would look for someone better while with me (caught him multiple times but he wouldn't leave me and I couldn't be the one to leave him.. fear), so I made a fake Facebook with my friend and we flirted with him over it until he dumped me and we kept it up until it I knew he wouldn't come back and beg me to get back with him (fear.) it was successful. He thought it was his idea so there was no fake crying, threats, promises, other manipulative crap. He still stalks me occasionally, tho. Which is scary.
one of my huge problems with school was english. like, everyone throws a fit about math they don't use in real life, but it is important. it teaches you problem solving skills. however, english? like after elementary school, grammar is dead. at least I never had a grammar lesson past 5th grade. 6th tops. instead it was replaced with poetry. and I see zero point in that. like senior year? it was literally the history of poetry. and a lot of essay writing based on that. and you'd get a bad grade if you didn't use proper grammar, but we weren't taught grammar. the absolute last time I had a grammar specific assignment in school was like 9th grade on a standardized test. grammar is used in real life. from applying to colleges to well every other aspect in life that requires professionalism. yet, everything I know about grammar has been self taught. from reading articles and eventually catching on to when you say 'a' or 'an' to actually looking up questions related to grammar that doesn't make sense to me. I can't remember when to use a semi colon or not from the minimal information I was given in 3rd grade. I just can't stand to sit in a class and learn about poetry, bards, and ye old time instruments when I should be learning things that'd help me further my education after high school. ALSO, I MADE IT TO 12th GRADE, AND I WAS STILL NEVER TAUGHT THE STATES. WTF. MOST PEOPLE LEARN THAT IN 4th GRADE. NOT ME. GIVE ME A MAP AND I CAN SHOW YOU MY STATE, SOME SURROUNDING STATES, AND CALIFORNIA.. and texas but that is obvious because it is texas. that is all.
Construct your freaking sentences people! There’s more to poetry than dumping your guts. You must dump your guts. That is necessary, but it’s not sufficient. To turn it into poetry, you must give it form, whether that means saying it in the iambic pentameter of the ancient Greeks, the minimalist percussive slang of the modern city dweller, or your own original calculated architectural patterns. It doesn’t matter what style you choose, but you must have style. Your work must have form. The form is the frame. The frame highlights the content. The content is your guts. The frame adds a level of artisanship to the task of expressing your guts and makes people pay attention. Take any piece of dirty junk from the dump and hand it to someone, and they will likely think you are trying to poison them. Glue it on the wall, put a frame around it, and call the space a gallery, and people might ponder it for a while and even call you an artistic genius. Such is the power of the frame. Learn how to frame your thoughts in form. Otherwise, it’s just verbal diarrhea. It would also help if you learned spelling, grammar, and punctuation. After all, writing is still writing. It’s not random key presses.
anytime I would go to my room instead of staying out in the living room with my family, they would b.itch. to the point where now I feel extremely guilty if I am in my room when my mom is home. now, everyone is literally doing the same thing. my sister is constantly in her room. my mom is in her room on her laptop, and if she isn't she is on it while in the living room to the point of not acknowledging anyone else's existence. yet no one says anything. yet it is so horrible when I'm in my room. it's so lovely.
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