Best Real Quotes Ever

I love how on Witty we all have lots of sass
but in real life, we can't even say hi without messing up.

 The only reason
I enjoy going to bed is
so I can make stories up in my head
which makes my brain think
it’s actually real.

 

Everyone
gets their heart broken,

it just takes that special person
to sit down next to you
with the tape and glue,
helping you put it back together
so they can steal it
and show you what
real love is.

My boyfriend and I are so different.
I exist, he doesn't.
The real b//tch list:
-Scar
-The guy who killed Bambi's mom
-The barracuda that ate Nemo's mom




when i was thirteen my sister had
a boyfriend who had a wicked hot cousin. they knew i found him attractive. so, being the two that they were, they forced jarrod into my bedroom, as i was awtching tv, in just. a. bra.



 

having a crush is like having that little piece of rock stuck in your shoe and you stop walking and shake it out and you’re pretty sure it’s gone but then a half hour later you feel it under your toe and you’re like oh no

 

I want my first marriage
to be my only
marriage.


At what point do we stop calling it "real life" and just start calling it "offline"?
Don't you dare give up on this life.

Not today.

Not tonight.

Not tomorrow.

Not ever.

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