Something unexpected happened last night. I'd be lying if I
said that I never fantasized about it happening, I just didn't
think it would actually come to fruistion. But it did happen, and
it felt like I was in an early 2000's romcom. Or that elevator
scene between Jess and Nick in "New Girl". Same thing
right?
I feel good about this. While I do have some worries, he doesn't seem like the type of guy to lead someone on. I want to take things slow, I know how I am when things start to go too fast. Moving forward with this situation, I want to make sure I don't compromise my boundries and stay true to myself. I also want to be comfortable enought with each other to communicate what we want and not feel weird asking for something we need from the other. I do hope this leads to some sort of commitment down the road, because I really want that stability. I want to be seen with him, go on dates, get to know each other, make plans or trips, and whatever else we decide.
I feel good about this. While I do have some worries, he doesn't seem like the type of guy to lead someone on. I want to take things slow, I know how I am when things start to go too fast. Moving forward with this situation, I want to make sure I don't compromise my boundries and stay true to myself. I also want to be comfortable enought with each other to communicate what we want and not feel weird asking for something we need from the other. I do hope this leads to some sort of commitment down the road, because I really want that stability. I want to be seen with him, go on dates, get to know each other, make plans or trips, and whatever else we decide.
I'm at a point in my life where I know I deserve
better, but I still find myself compromising my emotional needs
for someone who takes so much of my being.
This cycle has to end.
This cycle has to end.
You are
not responsible for someone else's happiness
I thought I had worth, but according to literally everyone
else... I don’t. All of my boyfriends’ parents hated me and
made or wanted them to break up with me. My school teachers
expected nothing or the worst from me. My co-workers complain
about me in general and me isolating myself, but when I try to
connect they push me away. It seems like no matter what I do, I
am never enough. What is wrong with me? I would give the shirt
off my back for someone. I would be there for them no matter
what. I would support them, even if their opinions and decisions
didn’t match mine. I would fight for them, and stick up for
them. I would genuinely care about their thoughts and feelings. I
would do damn near anything for them; for a good friend. But
I’d never get any of that back. I never have. Like everyone has
apparently been trying to tell me my entire life, I just have no
worth. I am disposable. I am a burden and weirdo. Why am I here ?
Why was I given life when I have no one who cares enough to share
it with ? What’s the point ?
It all
just
feels
like
it was
a game.
You only wanted me more because
they wanted you to leave me.
Are your feelings even real?
You only wanted me more because
they wanted you to leave me.
Are your feelings even real?
You're the only thing I think I got right.
