Sarcastic Quotes

are you insinuating that
i should tolerate your diabolical
insubordination (( from )) an
individual whos mental capacity barely exceeds that of a processed pea

I can write with my left hand as well as I do with my right hand... Actually, anyone can write with their left hand as well as I do with my right hand.

Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deletinghistory has become more important than making it.


My new years resolution is to become witty famous. 1 like
equals 1 pray.




I love deadlines.
I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by






 

THERE'S NO LIFE WITHOUT WATER, BECAUSE WITHOUT WATER THERE'S NO COFFEE, AND WITHOUT COFFEE, I'LL KILL YOU ALL.

It may seem like I’m a sarcastic b*tch 24/7, but I’m actually only a sarcastic b*tch 18/7 because at night I actually have feelings
I hate it when the cashier's ask,
'Is that everything?'
Uhh, no. I'd also like to 
Purchase all of this invisible
sh*t as well.

 
Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.
Your girlfriend's room is like a bar. Everyone walks in and out with a little surprise.
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