Secrets Quotes

IGNORE THIS IM JUST POSTING IT HERE SO I CAN GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE

My story, pt. 1.
I'm not too sure what to write here, I guess I'll just explain my 'story' bit by bit, so anybody who happens to stumble across me understands me slightly better.

Ahoy, I'm Pippa and I'm 16 years of age. There isn't really much to me. I'm from bonnie Scotland, although it's not actually too bonnie. Then again that could be my oh so pessimistic side kicking in. I apologise in advance directly to you reading this, as I have a tendency to ramble. Anyway, so, me. I'm weird. I have a great music taste. I'm covered in piercings, which is slightly ironic as I'm starting to hold Christian beliefs. In my past, I would never even have considered slightly conforming to a religion - I used to hate everyone and everything, because of things that happened to me. As personal as it is, I decided to share my story and that I shall do.

It mostly started during my childhood. I grew up with my autistic, then violent brother who is a mere year younger than me, my two sisters, my mother and my dad. I grew up in a household where my mother was always stressed and drunk, where my dad was always away working, he had to go to Afghanistan. I grew up with my heroin addict sister, whom I found out a few weeks ago doesn't share the same dad as me. Anyway, I had a decent childhood, it was hard but could've been way worse. At times my mother was incredibly physically and verbally abusive, but as I have matured, I've learnt to accept that and have a slight touch of empathy towards her. At the age of ten, I was rxped by an unknown man. At the age of 13, I entered into an abusive relationship, which I won't go into the details of. I wound up bloody and bruised and mentally broken.

At ten, I started hearing voices, and hallucinating. I'd hear multiple voices, both male and female, shouting and screaming at me as though they were there in the room with me. They did, and still to this day, although not as severe, call me disgusting names, make up suicide plans, and tell me to hurt myself, and hurt other people. I also started seeing a man. I now call him the 'shadow man,' because he is well... a shadow. He's a tall, and very big man. He has no facial features, it's just a blank space. He wears a long coat and a fedora hat, and he just stands there and observes. He laughs at me and does the same things as the voices. Anyway... I didn't want to hurt other people. It wasn't in my nature. I had so much anger, guilt, fear and shame built up though that I feared one day I may just snap and give into my demon's demands. That's when the self harm started. The rxpe, along with bullying which was taking place, and my mental demons altogether created an immense pressure in my mind which I had to release in a non-violent way. It could be argued that SH is violent, but I don't/didn't see it that way as it was only aimed at myself. I picked up a pair of blunt nail scissors one day I was in the bath, and just sliced my forearm. It hurt, because they were blunt, and it took a while to make the incisions but once it was done I felt fulfilled in a way. I liked the look of the blood, I made myself bleed the way the man in the alleyway made me bleed.

she has a fake smile on her face, acting like everything is fine. she is always there for everyone, never putting herself first. the girl who does everything right. but the innocent have the most secrets. 
"Look at you. You're young.

You're scared.

Why are you so
scared?

Stop being paralysed.

Stop swallowing your words.

Stop caring what other people think.

Wear what you want.

Say what you want.

Listen to the music you want to listen too.

Play it loud as heck and dance to it.

Go out for a drive at midnight and

forget that you have school the next day.

Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now.

Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours.

When are you going to realise that you can
do whatever you want?"


-Louise Flory

"Look at you. You're young.
You're scared.
Why are you so
scared?
Stop being paralysed.
Stop swallowing your words.
Stop caring what other people think.

Wear what you want.
Say what you want.
Listen to the music you want to listen too.
Play it loud as heck and dance to it.

Go out for a drive at midnight and
forget that you have school the next day.

Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now.
Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours.
When are you going to realise that you can
do whatever you want?"

-Louise Flory




 
format-br0kenwings LEAVE THIS HERE PLEASE.


revealinsecretis
like lighting a match
IT CABRING LIGHOR
it can set your world on fire.

 

© format coded by: br0kenwings
Please don't remove this!

when you're told something shocking that you're not meant to know and it makes you see someone

completely differently
You don't really know me.
You know nothing about the cuts under my sleeve.
You have never seen the tears roll down my face.
You don't know what I do to feel alive.
You don't really know me.
Eye contact can be way more intimate than words could ever be

I'M REALLY GOOD,
   
           AT KEEPING SECRETS,
                          
                              BECAUSE 5 MINUTES LATER

I FORGET WHAT YOU TOLD ME
                  
           BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A F*CK. :)

Breathe,
go to a mirror, take a step back,
close your eyes
big breath in, slow release,
open,
look,
smile,

compliment, thumbs up and hit life hard.
Because really, what more can you do?
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