I wish I could negotiate with the spiders in my
bathroom.
me: okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
spider: no probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
me:oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and you can tell him just to move out until it's done
spider: sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.
So people wouldn't be afraid of spiders if they could just talk
to them, you know?
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
I imagine spiders to be very polite for some odd reason XD
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
I imagine spiders to be very polite for some odd reason XD
I take P.E. with the special needs people and one day we were in
the indoor gym playing frisbee golf then this one guy named Mark
pointed out a spider in the corner so I start walking the other way
and heres out conversations.
Mark: "What Julian you afriad of bugs?"
Me: "No I just really hate spiders."
Mark: "Why? They wont hurt you."
Me: "They can bite you."
Mark: "Man girls are afraid of everything."
Me: "No we arent. But most of us are afraid of spiders."
Mark: "JULIAN THERES A SPIDER BEHIND YOU!"
Me: "Dont do thatttt!!!"
Mark: "Baby..."
Yea I absolutly hate spiders but I find it funny how the special needs people love to mess with me ahaha I love them :P
Mark: "What Julian you afriad of bugs?"
Me: "No I just really hate spiders."
Mark: "Why? They wont hurt you."
Me: "They can bite you."
Mark: "Man girls are afraid of everything."
Me: "No we arent. But most of us are afraid of spiders."
Mark: "JULIAN THERES A SPIDER BEHIND YOU!"
Me: "Dont do thatttt!!!"
Mark: "Baby..."
Yea I absolutly hate spiders but I find it funny how the special needs people love to mess with me ahaha I love them :P
If spiders can sit on the web all day then so
can I.
Random Confession #2
I’m scared of ladybirds.
Seriously I’m more okay with spiders than I am with ladybirds.
I’m scared of ladybirds.
Seriously I’m more okay with spiders than I am with ladybirds.
A true fact about spiders is they
can't
run for extended periods of time
because they have asthma. All
spiders are nerds. Even tarantulas.
Have you ever seen a spider dating a
hot babe? I doubt it. Spider flashing
his cash in the club? Nope. Spider
pulling up beside you at the lights in
a lamborghini? Never happened.
They've got so many eyes because
they love reading. Nerds. All of them
because they have asthma. All
spiders are nerds. Even tarantulas.
Have you ever seen a spider dating a
hot babe? I doubt it. Spider flashing
his cash in the club? Nope. Spider
pulling up beside you at the lights in
a lamborghini? Never happened.
They've got so many eyes because
they love reading. Nerds. All of them
There is a spider lowering itself over my computer
It's getting closer.
I'm going to get 7 rolls of toilet paper to fight it off.
Tell my kids I died a war hero
