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The worst and the hardest moment in life is when god breaks your trust over and over again.
Witty, you know my everything. On second thought, you've scratched the surface at least.
Witty, you know my everything. On second thought, you've scratched the surface at least.
I have so many friends. So many best friends too. When I was younger, I would have been so happy. I was so lonely. But even with all these people around me...I'm still lonely. And not in the poetic "I'm so lonesome" sort of way. In the "I hate feeling like I have no one to talk to when I'm surrounded by people" sort of way. The type of lonely, where everyone has known you for so long. They have these expectations. I can't let them see these sides of me. It's stupid of me to withhold their standards. But it's hard to hear the "you've changed" monologue. Because I haven't. I've just never trusted this aspect of myself over to them. And it's not some rare Jewel that everyone's dying to see, it's just messy. Having your own internal issues isn't something I want to share, but I know I need to. So I'll make new friends. I pray they can see through me.
All in due time.
I hope to bump into you. I love talking with you. When we touch it's all I can think about later on. I feel so girly when I'm with you. I love your smile. I really love your laugh. It's precious. I like how you work hard. You encourage me to be more ambitious. You're so kind. I've lost count of the times you've helped me without me even asking. You're shoulders are so broad. Resting my head on you, the feeling. No words. I love many things about you. I was avoiding it at first. But I really like you. It's the kind of like that I write about to reminisce.

we live on a 
blue planet
that circles around
a ball of fire next to
a moon that moves the sea
and you don't believe in miracles?


I was so mad today. I went to the backyard and teared up for a bit. It was so embarrassing. I didn't realise but I kept picking away at my skin, when I was done a small patch had turned blood red. I only realised when dad asked if I fells on rocks. I didn't notice I did that to myself, I was so distracted that I hurt myself. My knee is throbbing. It's so scary. Never again. This is a form of self sabotage I won't fall victim to and make a habit out of. I was on autopilot. I'm scared of myself atm. It's not a good feeling. My knee hurts and it was unconsciously intentional.
I didn't care much for navy bomber jackets, but now, actually i still don't care, I just love the person that's in long as it's you. I like you.
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