Story Quotes

I dreamed
Your dream
 for you,

and now your dream is Real.


Nov. 16 2015

What if

I'm in love with the idea of being in love but I am not in love with being in love 
Because I never learned how to and each step I take feels like I'm falling deeper into an ocean of all the love I was never given as a child,
and  I can't seem to find myself when I don't know what I'm searching for.

My parents told me I have time,
there is no rush to find your soulmate,
but what if the time is now and  I don't even know it,
what if they aren't looking for their other half but just someone to booty call at 4 am when they're drunk and can't handle being alone.

What if my lover is echoed in rooms of everyone who's ever been heartbroken,
would I hear his voice?
Would it  sound different, would it sound familiar, 
the way  I picture it in story books and romantic movies,
where girls fall for the right guy and everything's okay.
and he loves her, and she's so beautiful. 

Since when did I have this story book picture in my mind about how it was supposed to be,
or how I was supposed to feel when he kissed me and how  I didn't know I could say no.

I never got the storybook ending,
the happily ever after, it's not as easy as they make it out to be.
and I think we need to stop romanticizing something that takes a whole part of us when it ends,
because there's something about love and the magic it possesses,
that when it ends,  it destroys.
I am still searching for what you took.

Love breaks parts of you, you didn't even know you had,
it takes and it takes,
the destruction of love is the most horrible thing I have ever been apart of.
I have individually taken someone's heart and held it in my hand and I dropped it without turning back,
I ran as fast as I could.

I looked at love as if it  was the deadliest criminal I had ever known, and I didn't want it to be found,
I wanted it to stay away because there was no prize to be found, no reward at the end.
My love couldn't be protected behind bars, it slipped away through the cracks it got away on bail.

And as it slipped, so did I, but I slipped through the ground. 
 I became a version of myself I didn't even know, I looked in the mirror and saw a skeleton starring back at me.
People asked me if  I was happy, and I gave them the false answer they wanted. 
I said I was fine, they didn't know  I was fighting a battle in my mind. 
People are only curious for themselves, they don't really care,
and it took me awhile to figure out we are all false positives, and that love is the bad guy you fall for who says all the right things,
and I am still running.

And if you'd like to know, yes I am doing fine,
I just can't handle having to leave my bed in the morning,
and I am surprisedat how long I've lasted. 
They tell me it's poison, we don't collide anymore.
But his name still tastes as good as it sounds.

It doesn't make much sense to stay , 
But i need the pain to feel okay 
Nobody will see how broken you are.
Until it's too late.
"It rained heavily last night" said the pillow.





 Format © dontsellyourselfshort







COLD AS THE CLOUDS of your breath.

here'our story.  7.7.14. 
it all began on the morning of July 7th, 2014. I was attending my Freshman Orientation for college at Rowan University in NJ.  Along with my friend, my soon to be Freshman Year roommate, we went to meet up with a friend of ours that we met earlier that summer. Little did I know, he would be bringing along his roommate, but I'm getting ahead of myself. So I text him and say lets meet up by Willow, which is where we were staying that night and so we met up between Willow Hall and the basketball courts. I see my friend walking over and I also see another boy with him, who looked.. nerdy and wierd. I thought hm, I wonder who this boy is. So finally we meet up and my friend goes, this is my roommate for the night, Zach and I was like hello, my name is Nicole. We all begin to walk over to sign in and then start our orientation day activities, involving a bunch of tours, lectures and boring stuff. We all got talking as the day progressed and we met up with a few other people as well. A few hours later, Zach says to me, hey let's go to my room for a bit and skip the tours and the lectures, noone will notice, and they are boring anyways. Hesitant, I was like sure, but I don't want to get in trouble. We head to his room, just the two of us, pretending we needed to get something. We begin to just hang out and I remember he went to sit on his bed and then I sat down as well. We got to talking and suddenly I thought to myself, he's gonna kiss me. I got extremely nervous and went to the floor and amused myself with all of the stickers on his laptop cover. He eventually came over to me and I felt him leaning in to kiss me again. So the nervous wreck I was, began to talk a lot. I also made a big mistake by saying, hey lets go back to the tours, we don't want to get in trouble. So he agreed and we did. We hung out pretty much the rest of the day at orientation. He even put his arm around me at some of the lectures and then held my hand as we were walking places. It felt like we were dating even though we just met a few hours ago. Anyways, fast forward to the night time, we were all hanging out in the boys room after we were all set free for the night from all the tours and lectures. It was Zach, his roommate(my friend), their third roommate, my roommate, my roommate's friend and I all hanging out in a Freshman dorm that was ideally meant for 2 people but had 3 beds for the night. We were all hanging out until the wee hours of the night and we all suddenly got tired, and I said to my roommate, hey we should head back but then we didn't. I don't remember exactly the situation, but all I remember is I stayed in Zach's bed with him that night. We just slept by each other's sides while everyone else did their own thing. It became super hot(there was no air conditioning and there was 6 people crammed into a small room in the middle of summer). The next morning we wrapped up activities, and I met his mom and dad. We all did some shopping but then it was time to head home. Oh i forgot to mention, Zach lived in Connecticut, 3 hours from school. We exchanged phone numbers, skype names, snapchat names and everything else necessary so that we could continue to talk that summer. After an entire summer of skyping daily for hours on end, we began our Freshman year of college together. Now, we are half way through our junior year of college, just over two and a half years together. and that's the story about how I met the love of my life.

One day I woke up and I didn't think

of you.   I didn't think about what you

were doing or if you were thinking

about me, you were not on my mind



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