i.
you have beautiful collarbones.
you have beautiful collarbones.
When I was 15
I had that summer
you've
seen in movies
read about in books.
I went to a festival
and it started rainig around midnight
and I looked at the fireworks
with this girl who I now call my best friend.
I travelled with my parents
and could take one friend with me
and I never planned on doing so
but I sure exploited every bit of their trust.
I sneaked out of the hotel room
went to some local parties
befriended strangers
and drunkenly ran back to the hotel at 6 am.
I had a summer love
who said I was crazy but sweet
who told me he wished
he knew more girls like me.
I partied with older people
thinking that the age difference
didn't even slightly matter
that I was mentally ready.
I dated my 20-years old crush
who had a car
who texted me
who told me I was the one.
And of course it all backfired
I got grounded
my heart got broken
my friend group parted ways.
I felt bad about it for a while
I promised to never make those mistakes again.
These days I refer to the summer of 2012
as most legendary time of my life
these days I wish I could be
that stupid naive & young again.
That's what I'm hoping to accomplish
this summer
I had that summer
you've
seen in movies
read about in books.
I went to a festival
and it started rainig around midnight
and I looked at the fireworks
with this girl who I now call my best friend.
I travelled with my parents
and could take one friend with me
and I never planned on doing so
but I sure exploited every bit of their trust.
I sneaked out of the hotel room
went to some local parties
befriended strangers
and drunkenly ran back to the hotel at 6 am.
I had a summer love
who said I was crazy but sweet
who told me he wished
he knew more girls like me.
I partied with older people
thinking that the age difference
didn't even slightly matter
that I was mentally ready.
I dated my 20-years old crush
who had a car
who texted me
who told me I was the one.
And of course it all backfired
I got grounded
my heart got broken
my friend group parted ways.
I felt bad about it for a while
I promised to never make those mistakes again.
These days I refer to the summer of 2012
as most legendary time of my life
these days I wish I could be
that stupid naive & young again.
That's what I'm hoping to accomplish
this summer
my list of
loves in may
notebooks. rings. beards. chrys. good books. winks across the room. crinkling eyes. drumming fingers. eyelashes. volleyball. emily. fanfiction. celtic music. lions. serious boys. arched eyebrows. bailey. nebulas. green. diamonds. toothy smiles. praise. "let's go home". falling in love. staying in love. love. love. love. hanging out over breakfast. jenny. admiration. hand kisses. dragons. coffee brown. crying and feeling better aftwards. rain. tea. black glass. elsa plaits. caitlin. white bears. my voice. haikyuu!!. tumblr themes. lips. healing. failure. advice. passion. pencils. the little mermaid. i can go the distance from hercules. paper. soft skin. dilemma by infinite. bruises. alone time. a lot... of alone time.
notebooks. rings. beards. chrys. good books. winks across the room. crinkling eyes. drumming fingers. eyelashes. volleyball. emily. fanfiction. celtic music. lions. serious boys. arched eyebrows. bailey. nebulas. green. diamonds. toothy smiles. praise. "let's go home". falling in love. staying in love. love. love. love. hanging out over breakfast. jenny. admiration. hand kisses. dragons. coffee brown. crying and feeling better aftwards. rain. tea. black glass. elsa plaits. caitlin. white bears. my voice. haikyuu!!. tumblr themes. lips. healing. failure. advice. passion. pencils. the little mermaid. i can go the distance from hercules. paper. soft skin. dilemma by infinite. bruises. alone time. a lot... of alone time.
I
spent y e a r s convincing everyone who
looked at me that I was made of steel. I told them I
had hinges for joints, hair made of metal, my fingers nails
and my tongue a sharp knife. I glared daggers at the masses
and put up shutters at night. The fuel burned, the cogs
turned, and my words were smoke and industry.
It was a lie. Steel does not grow. I did, and I
broke.
the people who are best at it
spent years being the worst.
You don't write beautiful prose overnight.
You don't discoverhow to best tell a story in a week.
You don't learn to draw through sheer will.
You don't become a painter by reading about it.
You don't tell perfect stories unless you've practiced how.
If you want to build a s k y s c r a p e r ,
set the foundations before you buy
a flag to fly from the top.
spent years being the worst.
You don't write beautiful prose overnight.
You don't discoverhow to best tell a story in a week.
You don't learn to draw through sheer will.
You don't become a painter by reading about it.
You don't tell perfect stories unless you've practiced how.
If you want to build a s k y s c r a p e r ,
set the foundations before you buy
a flag to fly from the top.
if
there's one lesson i learned through my 18 years, it's
JUST WORK HARD AT WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.♥
it
took me four years to re-learn that being kind is nice and good,
and love isn't always something to run away from.
it's still a work in progress. the rock is still jagged, but you can at least see where the sweetness was, and imagine how it'll go back in.
you can be pretty and cute and sweet and kind and cry and care and still be okay, you know? you know? ♥
it's still a work in progress. the rock is still jagged, but you can at least see where the sweetness was, and imagine how it'll go back in.
you can be pretty and cute and sweet and kind and cry and care and still be okay, you know? you know? ♥
I'm
out of trump cards. The inspirational well has run
dry; there are no more inspiring one-liners to get me to that
finish line. I've stopped short again. There's
so much I want to say to you -- so much more I could have
said... We could have been s o m u c h
m o r e . But we aren't, because we aren't, and
that's why we aren't. So I think the only way I'm
going to get myself off this track -- not to the finish line,
not to the next lap, but off the race track altogether -- is
imagine that somewhere, somehow, in some other time, in some
other world, with some other girls that could be us
but aren't, they got it right. And
they're everything we'll never be. That's
my goodbye. Someone else's maybe keeps me going;
it's pulled me off the track. 'Cause I'm
sure that somewhere out there, we could have gotten
it right, even if we
didn't. I'm off to run another race. I'm
so okay, you know? But the legs keep moving,
and I've got to go somewhere -- and that shouldn't be
towards you. This isn't goodbye.
Here's the baton. It's right there, I can't take
it with me. Okay, I'm off. Don't forget to cool down
and stretch, all that good stuff. Stay hydrated.
K e e p r u n n i n g y o u r
r a c e . (we didn't get it right, it's
alright, i love you, g o o d b y
e . )
(for evie)
(for evie)
