Surgery Quotes

I wouldn’t object to being conscious during brain surgery, as long as someone told me where to cut.

So today in Italian, my teacher
was telling our class about 
how we should be nice to 
everyone because they could
hold our life in their hands in
the future and they could be 
the only one to save us, so I 
turned to this girl and said, 
"I'll try not to stab you with
the scalpel."

When hurt turns red and a piece of your heart is missing. When the cold bites deep and you’ve got that feeling like you just got out of surgery. When the only way to stay sane is to concentrate on anything else but how you feel. When you count the tiles in the ceiling. When you push the earphones closer. When the first day of winter arrives. When you remember every nuance of every word of every time. When all this happens. Embrace it. Feel every feeling. Cry every tear. Sob every sob. Because this is what it feels like to have loved.

Dear *****,

It’s been three months now.

The 20^th of each month is always the hardest for me. I remember it as if it was yesterday. You told me that you were going into surgery and there was a 85-90% chance that you would die. I didn’t realise the absurdity of those figures till it was too late. My best friend at the time got a message after last period saying you weren’t going to make it. In an instant, I broke down, tears streaming down my cheeks, my hand over my mouth muffling my screams. I found out you lied to me later that day. I learnt that you were alive and that it was all an act, a desperate attempt for attention. The surgery you didn’t make up but there was never any chance of death. I tried to commit that night. I couldn’t understand why the person I trusted the most would do that to me. I had told you everything. You knew how fragile and broken I was. You had talked me out of committing before and had even offered to forge me a note to get out of swimming because of my scars. I was stupid. I blamed myself and the first time you weren’t there to stop me I nearly died. I passed out to the thoughts of “I hope he’s happy now.” I didn’t die though. I woke up the next morning hating myself more than ever. I had to go to school the next day and tell your two best friends that you had lied to them. The three of us went to see the counsellor who I saw regularly for two months afterward.

Now I have to go to school every day just to see you there smiling and laughing and living. It hurts. It’s like I’m being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. I have to smile and bear it. Pretend it’s all okay because everyone else forgot about months ago. I told you that I had forgiven you but in all honesty I hate you. I hate you for what you did to me. I hate how you get to be happy after you pushed me into this sea of depression.

So fck you *****, fck you

Hey Guys.

I have got screenings back from my cancer test, and I have cancer in my liver, so they are going to remove about 80% of my liver, so I'm just hoping I'll be alright