Alabama: Our state bird is the NASCAR.
Alaska: I can see seasonal depression from
Arizona: Keeping indians in and mexicans out.
Arkansas: Great scenery and brilliant people..
haha I'm sorry, we got Walmart?
mexican, boob-job, computer hippies who really want to direct.
Colorado: Snow!.. I mean cocaine, but we're
also known for skiing.
Great schools... because there's nothing else to do.
Delaware: Come, we got low incorporation fees..
No, seriously, please come.
Florida: The more north you go, the more south it
Georgia: Atlanta! We're kinda ashamed of the
rest of it though...
Hawaii: If you lived here, you'd be lazy,
Idaho: Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite. Go
Illinois: Look! A non-corrupt politician for
once.. so far.
Indiana: You have to drive through us to get
Iowa: 56,000 square miles of dull.
Kansas: White breds making wheat bread.
Kentucky: Farming from the furure, text books from
Louisiana: Thanks BP, like we didn't have
wicked lotta moose aye?
Maryland: Have Jeevs bring the lobster boat
Massachusetts: Our chief export is obnoxious Pats
Michigan: Cereal makers, serial killers.
Minnesota: Too nice not to elect a douchey
Mississippi: I'm gonna need a bigger bible
Missouri: Number one! In.. meth.
Montana: Speed limits don't matter when
Nebraska: Footballs, drawls, and overalls.
Nevada: No laws no problem.. Cept all the
New Hampshire: Half hippie, half french, all
New Jersey: Guidos. Turnpikes. Leeching off New
New Mexico: Like regular Mexico, but with more
New York: World's 14th biggest city, first
North Carolina: First in flight, and lung
North Dakota: Somehow even worse than South
Ohio: People care about us at election time.
Oklahoma: 10 days tornado free!
Oregon: Dreadlocks on caucasians.
Pennsylvania: Even our Amish will fight you.
Rhode Island: No seriously, we're a state.
South Carolina: Still accepting confederate
South Dakota: ... At least we're not North
Tennessee: Where white-people music comes
Texas: Everything is bigger... Even our
Utah: Multiple lonely wives.
Vermont: Gay marriages on maple syrup farms.
Virginia: From center of civilization to
hicksville in 20 minutes flat.
Washington: Richer hippies than Oregon.
West Virginia: Inbred love child of Virginia and
Wisconsin: It's too cold to be sober.
Wyoming: We don't have any gay cowboys,
alright?!... Okay maybe a few gay cowboys.
(my state is Pennsylvania, and