Best Thed Quotes Ever

Friend: *eating alphabet soup*
Friend: *chokes on the d*


Do I want the D?
No,i'm aiming for a B+ at least.

Brianna: I named mine Augustus, Ceasar, and Leigh
Me: Haha I feel like something you'd do.
Brianna: Yup, I was thinking about it just being D1, D2, D3.
Brianna: So I could train my D, and it would get stronger,
Brianna: But then I figured I should... you know... try.
Me: Oh my dear God Brianna.
Brianna: Never repeat this to anyone, my ducks might get angry.
Brianna: I don't want them to rebel, 'cause that would freakin suck.
Me: ... I don't want D1, D2 and D3 angry with me.
Me: ... I don't want the D.
Brianna: No I want the D. But the D will get angry at me.
Brianna: You know how they are... they're sensetive.
Me: Oh so sensitive. 
Brianna: Oh my God.
Brianna: I'm done.

All we were talking about was Ducklife.
If you've never played Ducklife you've never lived.
Just gotta live that Ducklife #DuckLYYYFE


one time my teacher was talking and she was like "choose the d.. you always need to choose the d"
Me: *hops on that D*
Me: *hops off because I remembered I have internet so who needs that D*
In one of my favorite shows, 
everyone above the age of innocence
(hit puberty- virgin or not mkay) died,
leaving all the kids, who have yet to 
blossom, all alone. Which, I mean c'mon,
they haven't even had their first period or
their testes haven't grown (or whatever 
else guys go through), like how are they
supposed to run the world? Ah well,
anyway, when all the adults and teens
died, they referred to it as "The big D"
(also "the big death") but idk, I mean
it just gives a whole new meaning to 
the big d. Big d.ick (probably not even
that big. sorry [not really]) versus death
of apocalyptic proportions.

Milk: she wants the D
Me: *puts condom on head.*
Me: Ladies, remember this when your
guy says his peen is too big for a condom.
Me: Respect yo'self, protect yo'self.

If she says she likes it rough,
D'molish her

If she has more cats then friends, ,
not my quote

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