Triggerwarning Quotes

I grew up learning
romance is violence.
So when people ask “How do you love?”
I say,

Love
is a door banged shut in anger,
vocal chords rubbing together in fright,
raised voices echoing in the middle of the night
dancing from my room to yours.

Love
is red skin pinched from the thighs,
is clenched fists smacked on a table,
is furniture piled to block the way in,
is an object slammed on purpose so you know I’ll know I’m
wrong
wrong
wrong,

Love
is shrugging your hand from my shoulders,
is not texting back,
is throwing your phone against the wall,
is kicking you in your sleep,
is claw marks and bruised knuckles,
is bleeding lips and bitten tongues,
is shoving and pulling,
is a knife unsliced,
is 50 apologies not taken, 50 insults not taken back,
is f.uck yous,
is eye-daggers,
is silence,
is making them cry until they realize they are
wrong
wrong
wrong.

—Sade Andria Zabala, Romance Is Violent

WARNING!
Please use Discretion when you're messing with the Message, Man:


These Lyrics aren't for Everyone,

Only a few Understand.

 
format by fake_a_smile
YOU SAID YOUR FAVORITE COLOR WAS RED BUT THAT WAS BEFORE YOU SAW YOUR BLOOD ON MY HANDS FROM THE KNIFE SHE DROVE INTO YOUR BACK

I
 


TELL ME THAT IT'S NOT DIFFICULT TO THINK OF DEATH SOMETIMES
 














 




 

In the name of science

To pinch and poke and examine was just my nature
I was a scientist, my body was a great experiment
yet I feared manically that it was failing.

Acid climbed my throat
Pennies were dropped in a bucket
I felt itchy where I could not scratch 
and my biggest aspirations were pushed aside.
I had to give all of myself to The Great Experiment,
even if I was dying.

I changed profession.
I am distant from that now, I swear, I am, I promise!
All habits dropped, says the brave face.

I'm not dying, but I am lying.


Rare calculations still flutter in the brain
The balance in my mind is too quick to see what's heaviest
too much, too much, too much, you daft girl
The bruises on my knees and elbows reappear.

I clench my fists to remind me my hands can create beautiful things.
I stomp feet to to feel the floor, I am here and I am present.
I close my eyes to picture a place where I am happy without this.
I take deep breaths because my lungs work despite my reckless cruise to ruin myself.

The Great Experiment is never quite over.

Retrospect

i don't have the guts to wither away anymore
i fear the bones under my skin and fragile hair
i fear a stomach that beats it's drum, crying for attention

i feel too much to stuff myself full like an old pillow
i feel the heaviness, i feel the guilt to my very core
i can't hug something that will never hug me back

i resort to shaking hands, watering eyes, and a restless mind
it is better to learn to harness my thoughts
than to blindly follow them
They told me to write about my feelings, but then they complained about the blood staining the paper.
                                                                                            (DS)

 

    "that's the thing though, i'm pretty lonely most of the time so i stay at home and cry in bed, and i don't even do anything anymore, so it's like i'm pretty much dead."

    "but really, you're not. you're still performing vital life processes, right? and you're still converting air into carbon dioxide. so scientifically, you're not dead, and when all else fails to please or comfort you, i think that should, a little." 

When I was in the hospital
I was roomed with a schizophrenic
And she was the most gentle person I have ever met
There was a boy with a long deep slit across his neck
Who told very funny jokes
A girl who never spoke a word
Would draw the most beautiful pictures
The boy who shook with anxiety
Could hold the most intelligent conversations
Even the girl who screamed in her sleep and picked at her skin
Had a heart the size of the ocean
We are not who you think we are


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