Trying Quotes

Don't try this at home.  Do this at home or do this at home not, there is no try.

I'm trying to reach out.
But no one is listening.
I've fallen in a ditch, more like a grave.
Will no one help pull me out?
I feel like im dying.
Is this my home now?
I dont belong here.
I feel unwanted.
I'm not who I want to be, nor whom they want me to be.
Who am I besides the girl's name that is so-called mine.
It's amazing to witness the ones that come to hep on their own.
it's amazing to witness it's the ones that want to be there...
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should "give in".
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should do what it is they want me to do.
Where did you go?
Nowhere. 
You've been here all along.
Doing nothing.
Do I deserve that?
Do I deserve the nothing you're giving?
What do I deserve?
I thought I was better.
I thought I finally did it.
I thought I finally made it.
Truthfully, there are so many there.
But they're waiting for something that is never going to happen.
It's a test, can't they see? 
Its a test that none of us are passing. 
I'm losing grip and no one is doing anything.
My hands are hurting, as well as my body, and heart.
End this pain, I beg. 
End it.
its happened one too many times these past 7 years, one too many.
I'm trying to reach out.
But no one is listening.

Who am I besides the girl's name that is so-called mine?

I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle this.... 

I fully intend on living forever or dying in the attempt 

In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester
Treat me like a God, or they treat me like a leper
You see me move back and forth between both
I'm trying to find a balance

I was on my way back from the deli when Mama by MCR started playing. Now, my location on here says amish country and it is dead serious. In my area, there is pretty much Christians, Menonites, and Amish (except teenagers, then we got quite a few atheists.) Anyway, there were a group of menonites walking on the road (in case y'all don't know, menonites are like.. modern amish.. or that's what I like to call it. they drive cars and have electricity. but still extremely religious. they have coverings vs bonnets but city people still call menonites amish because they can't tell the difference. idk I get "a what??" when I mention menonites a lot so yeah. I spent a lot of my childhood in a menonite church, which yknow is actually quite close to the deli I was talking about.. and the deli is/was menonite owned.) I happened to drive past them at the part of the song that goes "we all go to hell" and well I just found that to be distasteful timing.