Many people ask me how I survived the bullying. People have asked
me questions such as: โWho are the bullies [are they
friends]?โ, โWhere did the bullying occur?โ, โWhat would
you do when you were bullied?โ, โHow did you deal with the
bullying?โ, or โDid you think of committing suicide?โ I
knew who the bullies were. They were my best friends. I was
bullied from 4th grade to my 6th grade year (only because im in
6th now), and every day they picked on me for my personality. And
for a bit one person made comments implying that Iโm emo. They
would make jokes and call me names like โEmo Bishโ and others
who acted the excat same as me. During PE, one person in
particular would make comments while we were changing in the
locker room, implying that I was emo because of scars from past
cuts . That person would say that I was staring at people to see
if people where watching and i would cut while they were
dressing. I am not emo, and I am accepting of those who are. But,
when this person labeled me as emo, I felt, in a way, violated
and disrespected. I did not like how people would label me with
names, such as emo and suicidal girl even if I were to do
absolutely nothing or appear as โdifferentโ to them. I feel
that people most commonly use the words โemo" or โsuicideโ
to describe people who are different from them and who they feel
donโt belong. They felt that it was all a joke, but it was
torture and abuse to me.
I repeatedly asked them to stop, but they ignored me every time.
It took them over a year, but they finally stopped when an SOS
student offering support jumped in. My school
therapist/counselor, whoโs in charge of SOS, arranged mediation
with herself, a few student conflict mediators, the students, one
at a time, and me to discuss the emo/suicide comments. I remember
one of them saying, โI wanted him to explode in anger. I wanted
him to start screaming and have a meltdown.โ I canโt tell you
how angry I was to hear that from someone who I thought was my
friend. When I heard that, I felt like my life ended because I
felt like all of my friends were trying to do the same. I felt
abused. I felt tortured. I felt that I was used for their
entertainment. Some of them felt and still feel that I
โsnitched,โ โratted,โ or โtattledโ on them, but I
know that I do not deserve to be bullied. And most of all, I felt
that I was used by my friends for them to gain popularity. They
donโt and didnโt know how the bullying affected me. I tried
so hard to get them to stop and understand that enough was
enough, but none of them listened. There were so many silent
witnesses who I wished wouldโve spoken up or at least said
something positive to me.