I understand that scissors can beat paper. And
I get how rock can beat scissors. But there's no way paper
can beat rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around rock
leaving it immobie? Why can't paper do this to scissors?
Screw scissors. Why can't paper do this to people? Why
aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly
suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?
I'll tell you why. Because paper can't beat anybody. A
rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play rock paper
scissors. I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have
beaten me with their paper I can punch them in their face with my
already clenched fist and say oh sorry, I thought paper would
protect you.
So today in history our teacher (Mr. Stone, if you're
curious) made us right Christmas lists. This was mine:
-Combat boots
-Warped tour tickets
-Riot Fest Tickets (3-day, chicago)
-Unlimited band merch
-A unicorn