No one understands you; no one knows what you’re going
through, you’re alone or at least that’s what you
think. Nobody would care if you’re alive or not, you mean
nothing to nobody. It’s night, and you slip into bed.
’Goodbye’ you whisper into the darkness. And with
that, you take your last breathe and end it all.
Nobody cares, right? Well you thought wrong.
It’s a Tuesday the following morning, and when it’s
7:21, your mother comes and knocks on your door. She
doesn’t know you can’t hear her, she doesn’t
know you’re gone. She knocks a few more times, calling your
name to open up. When there is no reply from your side of the
door, she opens it and screams. She collapses on the ground while
your dad rushes to your room. Your siblings have already left for
school. Your very weak mother collects all the energy she’s
got which, is close to nothing, to walk over to your bed. She
leans over your dead body, crying, squeezing your hand,
screaming. Your dad is trying to stay strong, but the tears
escape his eyes; calling 911 with his left hand while his other
one is on your mother’s back. Your mother blames herself.
All those times she had said ‘no’ to you, all those
times she had screamed at you, and sent you to your room over
something stupid. Your father will blame himself for not being
there for you when you asked for help, for being away from home
at work for long.
Nobody cares, right?
8:34. There’s a knock on your classroom door, it’s
the school principle. She looks more worried than ever. She calls
the teacher to the side; all the students worried: what’s
going on? The principle then later announces your suicide. The
popular girl that always called you fat and ugly is now blaming
herself. The kid that would always copy your homework but treat
you like crap, he’s blaming himself. The boy that sits
behind you, the one that always threw things at you during class,
he’s blaming himself too. The teacher is blaming herself -
for all those times she’d scream at you for forgetting your
homework, or not listening in class. People are crying,
screaming, shocked, in regret of what they did. They’ll all
be devastated, even the kids you’ve never talked to
Still nobody cares about you, right?
Your siblings get home. Your mother has to tell them that
you’re gone; forever. Your little sister, no matter how
many times she’s screamed at you, told you she hated you
and stole your stuff, always loved you, and saw you as her hero;
her role model. She now starts to blame herself; why didn’t
I do what she told me to do when she told me to? Why did I take
her stuff even when she asked me not to? This is all my fault.
Your brother gets home; the boy that never cries. He’s now
in his room; mad at himself, he caused your death. All those
times he’d played pranks on you. He’s punching holes
in his wall, turning over things; he doesn’t know how to
deal with the fact that you’re gone. Forever.
Nobody cares about you, right? Right?
It has been over a month. The door to your room has been closed
all this time. Everything is different now. Your brother has to
be sent to anger management classes, your little sister cries
everyday still waiting for you to come back. Everyday she waits
for you to come back home. The popular girls have now turned
anorexic. They don’t know how to deal with the pain that
they’re feeling. Your father has depression; your mother
hasn’t slept for nights, it’s all her fault.
She’s been crying and screaming every night wishing for you
to come back. The boy who would always bother you dropped out of
school. The boy that copied your homework now cuts.
But nobody cares about you, aren’t I right?
Your mother finally decides to go clean out your room. But she
can’t do it. She’s locked herself in your room for
two days to try to clean up your clothes, your things. But she
can’t she can’t say goodbye to you, not yet, not now.
It’s your funeral. It’s a big one - everybody comes.
No one knows what to say. The beautiful girl with the big smile
is gone; you’re somewhere else. No one knows what to say,
they’re all still shocked. Everyone cries, everyone misses
you. They all wish you’d come back but you don’t, and
Still think nobody cares about you? Think again. Even if people
don’t show it, they care about you, they love you. If you
kill yourself today or any other day you won’t know just
how much you meant to people. If you kill yourself today, it
stops your pain, but it pains all the ones who know you for the
rest of their life. Suicide is the easy way out - but it’s
the wrong choice. Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups
and downs, and everyone has their bad days. Sometimes people go
through tough times in their lives, alike what you're going
through now but bad times come and go. You might not see the
light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s there. No matter
how hard life gets, never give up on yourself, or on your life.
Take a minute now, and think. If you killed yourself - how would
the people that love you feel and go through? Can’t think
of anything? Well I’ll tell you: tears, tears, and more
tears. Devastation. Guilt. Pain. Broken. Regret. Miserable.
If after reading this you still feel suicidal, there are people
that can help you. There are teachers, parents, grandparents,
neighbors, adults, councilors - they’re all there for you
whenever you need them.