Wrist Quotes

So about a year ago this dog scratched my hand and left three about an inch long scars that are really close to my wrist. No one has ever seemed to notice them and I have really almost forgotten they were there. Earlier today I was sitting next to my friend Rayce and him and I were just talking and he suddenly reached across and grabbed my hand. He slowly ran his fingers across the scars and just stared at them for a couple minutes. I tried to take my hand back and he told me to wait. I sat there and watched him look at my hand, finally he looked up at me and asked how I had gotten them, I told him they were from a dog and just kind of shook it off. He nodded and turned back towards the front of the room. For the rest of the day everything was normal. During lunch I was talking to his sister (She is a year younger than us and she is a good friend of mine) and I told her all that had gone on with her brother, and told her it was really weird. And she stopped for a minute and looked down at her lap and was just playing with her thumbs, (this is a girl that is normally very upbeat and very happy and the sudden change in behavior really shocked me.) I asked her what had happened and she just started to role the sleeves of her jacket up. "Christine," She said, "last night My brother found out I have been cutting." I looked at her wrists and they were covered in marks. Her and I sat there and talked for a bit before I went and found her brother.
I looked at him and I said "I know Sam is cutting."
He looked back at me, "Yeah, Sorry about being so weird earlier, its just, I know one important girl in my life feels useless and broken, I needed to know if the other one did as well."

I thank my best friend
For being the reason I paint
With my paintbrush and paper tonight
Instead of my razor and wrist.

Thank You Dana.

My friend grabbed my wrist today
he didn't know that depsite my smiles, I was not okay
 

{ar}

As much I wish I could just pull up my sleave and say "Mommy make it all better..." I know I can't. Because I don't want her to know that I've gotten worse again. Who knows what would happen. Maybe she'd start screaming at me and say its a stupid thing to do, or put me back in therapy? Just because my mom and I share the same mental illness doesn't mean we think the same. Because what if I told you the struggles I face everyday, I hide. Because it was one simple mistake by telling her and she saying "Get over it" Maybe I am too young, but what if I am suffering?  "I don't know why you get involved with people like this" She says. But these people are feeling the same thing I do, and you don't even know it. Because the bands around my wrist aren't just to hold up my hair when I'm tired of chasing after the dog around the kitchen table. And the songs I sing aren't depressing, they're relatable. Just because my bedrooom is right above yours doesn't mean you can hear my crying myself to sleep at night. You mistaken my attacks as just tantrums, but really..they're a cry for help.

I USED TO KNOW A GIRL

 

I used to know a girl

With a smile on her face

A rose in her cheeks

And a symphony in her lips

 

Now I know a girl

With slices on her wrist

Snow in her cheeks

And a secret that persists