Best Yay Quotes This Year


At Wal-Mart & saw a sign over the sink: "Employees must wash hands."
I was stuck in there for 45 minutes before one showed up to wash mine.




i like my food and sleep.
if i give you my food or text you all night, you're special to me.




 
I love you
"How do you know it's true love?"
Because I feel the same way, even when you're being an idiot.

 

It’s funny how I was the fastest s.perm and now I barely move at all. 
 
Sometimes, I grab my boobs. Because I can.


And you can't.

Those exciting moments when
someone says a phrase or word that your celebrity crush says.

Friend: Hi!
Me: OH WOW THAT REMINDS ME OF PHIL LESTER HE SAYS HI TOO OMG

The sentence "Are you as bored as I am?" can be read backwards and still makes sense.
 

Closest I've gotten to murder?
Holding oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop.

I love those nights where
you're just on Facebook looking at all those extremely entertaining cat fights between the school 'populars'. You get up, get the popcorn, take a bite and hear a crack. It's your retainer, it's broken. It costs $100 to replace your retainer so you try to use superglue to fix it but it doesn't work. You have no choice but to confess to your parents what happened. Your parents freak out and make you use all your birthday money you got this year to pay for the new retainer instead of a new shirt and you're now banned from snacking, especially at night, until you move out. You starve and die because you're not used to that 2000 calorie diet. 
Oh, how i love those Facebook nights.
 
"YOU'RE SO UGLY!!"
"Really?"
"YES!!"
"Good, I'm trying to look like you today.."
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