Just
a quote.
This
is just a little something to let everyone out there who has been
diagnosed professionally with depression that you are amazing and
I'm so proud of you.
I have
bipolar disorder (among other things) and there is medicine I
should be taking for it, but ever since I was little and my mom
first started getting sick, I've been opposed to all
medicines. So I haven't ever taken a pill to help control
it.
People like to make jokes about bipolar disorder. They say people
that change their minds too quickly are bipolar. That
isn't what bipolar is. People who are bipolar have a
week or two where they feel really happy--sometimes too happy. It
only takes something very small to shift their mood to the point
where they're too upset to leave their room. I've missed
a lot of school because of it. All it is is a simple hormonal
imbalance in the brain. But it has a huge affect on my life and
personality.
Usually, when I get into one of those slumps, I'm able to
make myself numb. I write or read or go out and I'm okay.
Usually my slumps only last a few days, not weeks or months. But
this weekend, I wasn't able to make myself numb.
I was actually sad. I felt sad and I felt everything and it was
probably the worst feeling ever. I couldn't stop crying and I
actually started yelling at my father last night over the most
trivial thing just because I felt so overwhelmed. The sadness
literally consumed everything, I was too sad to even focus on
reading. But I was just sad.
People with depression have to live like that every single day.
People who are professionally diagnosed, let me add. Because
there is a difference between sadness and depression. I was only
sad this weekend. I never want to know how it feels to be
depressed.
I have a whole new respect for people with depression. I was
barely able to tolerate the weekend, never mind weeks and months
of just the constant pain. The constant inability to focus. The
constant feeling of being eaten by something intangible.
I am so proud of you for making it this far. I don't know you
and I don't have to know you to know that if you've been
professionally diagnosed with depression that you are so
incredibly strong and I can't emphasize it enough. I just
though everyone out there struggling should know that you're
going to be okay. I promise.
You'll be okay.