Best Yum Quotes This Week

PRINGLES: The only chip company in the world that doesn't sell air.










I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it's more of a wrap.







 
don’t cry me a river.
that’s stupid as hell. cry me a milkshake
waiter: have i kept you waiting long?
me: no, but did you know that there are 3,269 tiles on the ceiling?






I need to start eating healthy,
but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me anymore.





 









What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.







 









Whoever snuck the "s" in "fast
food" was a clever little bas/tard.





 


 






I bet Chinese people go to
American restaurants and ask for a fork so they can show off to their friends.





 
Me: I love--
Him: Me?
Me: Don't interrupt me, I was going to say ice cream.

I love sleep because it's like a time machine to
Breakfast.

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