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So in my defense, when he touched me the lights of my body came on. In my defense, the windows were thrown open. In my defense... spring.
If you find you are trying to force something, this is the time to let go

Before you date me... You need to understand that I'm damaged. I get triggered easily. I have struggled with things. There are nights when i'm curled up in a ball on the floor and i won't talk to anyone. I'll shut you out. I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while, because everyone has always left, cheated,or chosen someone else. I will need reassurance. I will need you, I will need you to keep choosing me, I'll need you to care when i text you saying I'm getting bad again. I'm a lot, i know this... So before you think i'm always happy, that i'll always be positive, that i'll always be smiling, know the reality before you get involved. Don't enter my life if you can't handle it, Lastly, don't you dare touch my heart if you aren't ready for that.


I can't take a pill without thinking about overdosing. I can't cross a street without wanting to jump in front of a car. I can't shave without wanting to slit my wrists. I can't walk along high things without wanting to jump. Every moment, every aspect, every vision of my life is changed by this depression and its killing me. It's made me weak and vulnerable and these thoughts are winning.

I really want to be happy, but there's something inside me that's screaming "you don't deserve it".
All i want is love and to be loved.
                it was your world baby,
                   and i just lived in it


She's the smoke, she's dancing fancy pirouettes Swan diving off of the deep end of that Tragic cigarette.

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