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homerun
part #115
part #115
i sat there in pat's arms, and he cradled me.
"how's your head?"
"better now." i said, and i looked up at him. "pat i have no clue what happened. i'm so sorry i forgot you. i have no clue why i would forget you.." i trailed off.
"no dev, it's okay. you coulnd't control it. i can't blame you." he said, and he wiped another tear rolling down my cheek. "but i do have a question." he said.
"go for it." i said, and he paused as i looked into his crystal blue eyes. they looked pained, and i couldn't stand to see that, so i looked out into the trees. some leaves were falling, and our once green paradise had been turning orange and red. it was still beautiful, either way, with who i was sitting with, but it was different. he stared at me, because i felt his gaze on my head. i was afraid to look up, so i just stared at the trees. i wasn't sure how long he stared at me, because back here, we were our own. we existed out of time. back here, it was a magical place, it was our own place. none of the pressures existed back here. none of the peer pressures that made you do things you didn't want to do, everything seemed clearer back here.
"well, i was watching private practice." he said, embarassed. i chuckled.
"i love that show."
"i know. but anyways, they said that the person usually unconsciously forgets someone because they block them out of their brain. usually because they caused them hurt. devon, can you answer this question honestly, have i ever, ever hurt you?"
i looked down at my hands folded in my laps. i played with his hand in his laps.
"so, was it UCSD, or anything?" he asked.
"hold on, let me think of the way to phrase my answer." i said, and pursed my lips to think.
"pat." i finally began, and looked up into his eyes. he just had an answering smile.
"i love you. without a doubt in my mind. and the UCSD didn't hurt me. it scared me, but it didn't hurt me because i know we can make it through, or i'll just have to relocate to stanford." i felt his chuckle in his chest. "and i was thinking how i could've forgotten, and then i realized. i never deserved you. i didn't do anything right in my mind to deserve anything close to you, so it feels like a dream, and you need something to wake you up. it felt like a dream. like at any second you were going to disappear and i'd be left grieving again." i went on. "but then, i smelled your cologne, your smell, and everything came back. i wasn't in a dream, because i was lucky enough to have all my dreams come true." i said, and i searched his face for a reaction.
"now devon." he began. "why don't you deserve me? are you kidding? i don't deserve you. how could i have been so lucky to meet a smart, athletic girl. "
"pat, i know but you're quarterback of the football team, getting a full ride to UCSD. i'm barely getting any money from villanova. you're smart, gorgeous, and i know every girl in the school would kill to be me right about now. and you have the most amazing minds ever. i mean you challenge me everyday in different ways. it's just natural for you to have everyone love you." i said, and looked down. "that's why i don't deserve you."
"are you serious?" he choked out. "devon, for being smart, you are stupid. you don't see yourself clearly."
"no girl does." i said.
"well you are extremely unfair towards yourself." he claryfied. "you are beautiful, captain of your soccer team, and you are amazing at basketball and lacrosse. you get straight A's in every honor's class, you help kids with special needs, and you do this with a disease. i wouldn't know how to juggle it. and villanova doesn't know what they're missing. and don't you say everyone loving me, because you should see everyone's faces when they talk to you." he said.
"what are you talking about?" i asked.
"have you noticed? ray had been crazy about you since you met him. even johnny and rockne have a crush on you. my girlfriend's getting attacked at from all angles." he said, and looked me in the eyes.
"you are the most beautiful girl i've ever met, on the outside, and your heart. you gave me a kidney without even giving it a second thought. that's so generous, and you drive me crazy. when you sit there thoughtful, i'm afraid i did something wrong. and when you talk." he paused, and looked at me. "i get lost in your eyes. " and smiled.
"well i could say the same back." i said. "and i'm not all of that." i argued.
"let's not fight over this." he said.
"alright, let's decide we're both not good enough for each other." i said, and smiled.
"that sounds perfect." he said, and he leaned his head in to kiss me, and i kissed him right back.
"how's your head?"
"better now." i said, and i looked up at him. "pat i have no clue what happened. i'm so sorry i forgot you. i have no clue why i would forget you.." i trailed off.
"no dev, it's okay. you coulnd't control it. i can't blame you." he said, and he wiped another tear rolling down my cheek. "but i do have a question." he said.
"go for it." i said, and he paused as i looked into his crystal blue eyes. they looked pained, and i couldn't stand to see that, so i looked out into the trees. some leaves were falling, and our once green paradise had been turning orange and red. it was still beautiful, either way, with who i was sitting with, but it was different. he stared at me, because i felt his gaze on my head. i was afraid to look up, so i just stared at the trees. i wasn't sure how long he stared at me, because back here, we were our own. we existed out of time. back here, it was a magical place, it was our own place. none of the pressures existed back here. none of the peer pressures that made you do things you didn't want to do, everything seemed clearer back here.
"well, i was watching private practice." he said, embarassed. i chuckled.
"i love that show."
"i know. but anyways, they said that the person usually unconsciously forgets someone because they block them out of their brain. usually because they caused them hurt. devon, can you answer this question honestly, have i ever, ever hurt you?"
i looked down at my hands folded in my laps. i played with his hand in his laps.
"so, was it UCSD, or anything?" he asked.
"hold on, let me think of the way to phrase my answer." i said, and pursed my lips to think.
"pat." i finally began, and looked up into his eyes. he just had an answering smile.
"i love you. without a doubt in my mind. and the UCSD didn't hurt me. it scared me, but it didn't hurt me because i know we can make it through, or i'll just have to relocate to stanford." i felt his chuckle in his chest. "and i was thinking how i could've forgotten, and then i realized. i never deserved you. i didn't do anything right in my mind to deserve anything close to you, so it feels like a dream, and you need something to wake you up. it felt like a dream. like at any second you were going to disappear and i'd be left grieving again." i went on. "but then, i smelled your cologne, your smell, and everything came back. i wasn't in a dream, because i was lucky enough to have all my dreams come true." i said, and i searched his face for a reaction.
"now devon." he began. "why don't you deserve me? are you kidding? i don't deserve you. how could i have been so lucky to meet a smart, athletic girl. "
"pat, i know but you're quarterback of the football team, getting a full ride to UCSD. i'm barely getting any money from villanova. you're smart, gorgeous, and i know every girl in the school would kill to be me right about now. and you have the most amazing minds ever. i mean you challenge me everyday in different ways. it's just natural for you to have everyone love you." i said, and looked down. "that's why i don't deserve you."
"are you serious?" he choked out. "devon, for being smart, you are stupid. you don't see yourself clearly."
"no girl does." i said.
"well you are extremely unfair towards yourself." he claryfied. "you are beautiful, captain of your soccer team, and you are amazing at basketball and lacrosse. you get straight A's in every honor's class, you help kids with special needs, and you do this with a disease. i wouldn't know how to juggle it. and villanova doesn't know what they're missing. and don't you say everyone loving me, because you should see everyone's faces when they talk to you." he said.
"what are you talking about?" i asked.
"have you noticed? ray had been crazy about you since you met him. even johnny and rockne have a crush on you. my girlfriend's getting attacked at from all angles." he said, and looked me in the eyes.
"you are the most beautiful girl i've ever met, on the outside, and your heart. you gave me a kidney without even giving it a second thought. that's so generous, and you drive me crazy. when you sit there thoughtful, i'm afraid i did something wrong. and when you talk." he paused, and looked at me. "i get lost in your eyes. " and smiled.
"well i could say the same back." i said. "and i'm not all of that." i argued.
"let's not fight over this." he said.
"alright, let's decide we're both not good enough for each other." i said, and smiled.
"that sounds perfect." he said, and he leaned his head in to kiss me, and i kissed him right back.
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New Moon<3
opened today! 11.20.09!<3 i love the twilight series sooooooo much 7 i can't wait to see this movie!!! I'M SO FRIGGIN EXCITED! haha, comment, fav, follow(:
opened today! 11.20.09!<3 i love the twilight series sooooooo much 7 i can't wait to see this movie!!! I'M SO FRIGGIN EXCITED! haha, comment, fav, follow(:
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