Status: spacebound
Joined: January 30, 2011
Last Seen: 5 years
user id: 150130

reporting to earth for the last time. this is astronaut amenah, over and out.

Quotes by Amenah

that's a fine looking high horse
this is hungry work


Strength is written into you. In your teeth and fingers and legs, strength is written into you. In the quip of your tongue and the flick of your gaze and every time you wake up and commit to moving forward. You can forget or deny or give up, but if you stand, your body will hold you up. Believe me. Trust me. The strength is there.


I am so done with you. Don't bother.

20 minutes ago I stopped myself from walking off a platform in front of an incoming train and 15 minutes ago I started texting my friends and 14 minutes ago I gave up on asking for their help amd 14 minutes ago I started crying alone in a train station and 8 minutes ago I started walking home and 20 minutes ago I didn't die but 6 minutes ago I realised I still wanted to.

You only talk to me when you need my help.

Slowly moving more of my life offline is probably one of the best things I can do for myself right now.

I started journaling. I bought a ukuelele (it was stringed incorrectly and I learned three chords left-handed without realising). I deleted all the pictures off my phone (they're backed up online). I opened my YouTube channel again. I rediscovered my adoration for poetry. I fell in love with yellow. I made the decision I am a happy person (who happens to have depression right now). I spent £40 on crappy lipsticks. I apologised to someone I fought with a year ago (because I finally learned the truth and it turns out at the time I was wrong). I deleted most of my online accounts. I adopted a sweet resue cat (and developed severe allergies). I moved out to a flat where I live alone. I flew on six different airplanesI know I haven't been around on witty much lately, but don't worry. I may not always be okay; I may cry from stress or freeze in a moment, but if I'm overwhelmed because I'm living too much... that's okay with me. :) 

It's been a long time since.
( hollow )

sorry, he said, we don't make those kinds of stickers.
we specialise in packing tape, he said.
that's what i want, i told him. rather than  f r a g i l e ,
custom print  w a n t e d  t o   d i e 
and wrap my coffin in it at two o'clock tomorrow
instead of the rope.
i'm afraid i'll be putting that to other use.

last words