Amenah

Status: spacebound
Joined: January 30, 2011
Last Seen: 6 years
user id: 150130


reporting to earth for the last time. this is astronaut amenah, over and out.

Quotes by Amenah





but i don't care if it's cheesy or cliché
i was 12 and knew next to nothing about
how life worked, and i wanted to be happy.
i was 13 and angry and stilll new nothing,
and then 14 and angrier still and i'd seen
a little more and still didn't get it, and
you know what? i wanted to be happy.
i was 15 and i thought i should be happy
forever; i still didn't know that much.
and i was 16, and 17, and 18, and i saw,
and i learned, and i craved, and i scarred.
and i'm 19 now and i know that happy isn't
something you are -- it's something you go
through, it's something you live in bursts,
just like everything else 'life' has to throw
at you. but i am 19, and i burst into tears
too much, and i'm lonely, and i have a lot of
hurts i don't know how to carry without
burning my own fingers, and you know
what? i still want to be happy. yes, i cringe
about embarrassing phases in the past, and
i did things when i was young i would never
do now. but i'm still that kid who, after the dust
had settled, would take the rocks and pain if,
at the end, they got to be happy for part of it.

i am 19 and i know now that life isn't easy, not for
anyone. but i know what my lot in life is, and what
it doesn't always have to be.
and i still love to smile at the sky.


so tell me. who's the one who didn't grow up?
if i have to be immature to want to enjoy the
hours i've been given, let that be. i am content
with that.



i think i grew up all right. i think i did just fine.



 
10 0 Amenah Amenah
wahoo



i live in winter





6 0 Amenah Amenah
wahoo
i can't decide whether in the end i should delete all my quotes or just give up and delete my account lmao
like.... there are almost 1800 quotes here i'd have to go through and individually delete one by o n e
and i'm not that eager to delete my account either but i
one by one
1 7 0 0 times
OTL
5 12 Amenah Amenah
wahoo
It is too easy to be rough. It is easy to be harsh, cruel, blunt, funny in a way that makes someone feel bad. It's easy to make yourself unapproachable, to glare at strangers who keep eye contact with you too long or raise your eyebrow at a nervous joke told too hastily. You can be melancholy. You can be hurt, nursing past wounds, unraveling stitches to keep cuts bleeding and fresh — that isn't hard, it' isn't hard at all.

But I am tired of looking myself and seeing jagged edges. I am tired of wearing away at myself, keeping myself rough because an older me, a past me, a me filled with naiveté and bitterness, thought it was what I wanted. Because I've done it, and I've lived it, and I've grown with it, and I have learned that there is nothing congratulatory or aspirational about this.

There's a difference between self-respect and mean-spiritedness... scaring people away is nothing to be proud of. It is too easy to be rough, but kindness is easier to respect than a bitter smirk.





 

14 0 Amenah Amenah
advice
  so here's what it feels like
 {   t o   b e   l o n e l y    }
    and now i'm not afraid
to know that i will be okay
         w i t h o u t    y o u .


9 2 Amenah Amenah
sklj
I have fallen sick to the common cold of friendship. It's sniffly and a pain, and I have to carry tissues around with me. More often than not it drives new people away. But there are those who will still talk to you, just turn away a bit — keep their distance because as kind as they are, they're still a bit put off. Best case scenario: your friends push you into bed and bring you soup and hot choclate, and sooner or later you've recovered, and you're more immune than someone who might not have suffered from it at all. But there's also the chance that they will  leave for good, or — worst case scenario — you'll give to them as well.

I have fallen ill to a virus, strong and pervasive and resistant. It has many names. There's the scientific 'low self-esteem', although I believe they call it 'self-hate' in some countries — Australia, probably. There's the most-used phrase 'sorry I'm so this way', the street-wise 'I'm not worth having around', the coded 'I am terrible and you could do better', and the one everyone knows but doesn't like to stay when with company:  w h y   w o u l d   y o u   w a n t   t o   b e   m y   f r i e n d   a t   a l l ?

I have fallen sick to the common cold of friendship, and let me tell you — the flu  s u c k s .


 


 


11 0 Amenah Amenah
haha
i'm the type of person who reads a message, thinks to themselves 'FXCK ITS A REALLY IMPORTANT MESSAGE GOTTA ACT'
puts it away to re-read for another time where i am in a prime state to act (e.g. at computer)
and then just
forgets
to
ever
read
it
agai n
7 0 Amenah Amenah
ljksdf
I'm just past the age where calling people psychos makes me feel better after they've hurt me.
10 1 Amenah Amenah
sldkjf
Time slows down, time speeds up, and I never stop wanting to hear the words you have to say. Let them change; let the wind wear you down, let mountains turn to dust, let the drought drown the desert, but for all that changes, you are infinitely intriguing to me —
and continuously, step by step by step, I adore you.

(yes, this is for you)


 


 


15 0 Amenah Amenah
im
Okay, new plan. Find something you can look forward to every day, however small or trivial it may be. Drag yourself out of bed. Let's try things that way.
7 0 Amenah Amenah
ok
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