CapriSun

Status:
Joined: December 2, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 245998
Gender: F
Hia Dears! <3
I'm Tori nice to see you here (again)
My life <3
Art | Witty | Facebook | He Is We | Mayday Parade | Pandora | Sasha (girl best friend) | Memes | My Wife and Kids | Friends (Show) | gym shoes | jeans | shorts | HSM(1,2,&3) | Cheetah Girls <3 | Music | <3 No love life <3 | Not caring single | Still believe in love | high school better than i thought | and THAT is my whole life <3
best catch phrase ever? "Awesome Sauce!" <3
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Quotes by CapriSun

me happy?
i was… for about less than two weeks
he decided he couldnt handle it.
he used all those clichés
"its not you its me"
"you deserve better"
this broke me for a good two days.
now?
im numb to emotional things
i dont trust anyone except my best friend
i dont accept promises
all because of one boy.
thanks alot kid.
he promised the world,
but had no faith in a future for me and him.
the point in all this?
to just watch me break?
to play with my emotions?
was there any point in us?
well there is no more us.
im not the girl i used to be because of this
today, someone tried to convince me to like them because things happened when i saw him yesterday. i didnt want those things to happen but they did. (it could have been worse it could have webt farther but i stopped it before that) i felt like i cheated on this kid that i like who likes me too and we arent technically dating. how do i deal with the first kid? (btw they have the same name -.-)
•compliments are nice, but they arent the same unless theyre from that one special person.



•texting all day is okay, but id rather hear your voice, or even better, see you in person!
"…We're all shipwrecked on this idea
That everything has to be explained.
But maybe we just need to believe
That lemmings jump off cliffs to prove that they love us.…"
--atlantis by shane koyczan
My darling Sara by shane koyczan
“The failing use of my right hand
isn’t actually the failing use of my right hand
it’s just another way to tell the time
and I’m ticking
so I’ve been picking myself up at bars
with a bottle in each hand
but I never give myself any play
I only make plans with myself for the day after next
but by the time the sun swings back around into position
I forget the context of why I asked myself out
in the first place
did I think I was going to score?
I let a stranger pour me one more
she says
my name is Sara
doesn’t take much more than that
to start a relationship
My darling, Sara
cleans rooms for a living
giving her youth and beauty
to dirt and dust
understands more than most
that family must be the foot you put forward first
you must weather the worst together
but having never met her family
she places love above all else
then protests that I use the word love
too freely in poems
and I should really just say what I mean
and I suppose what I mean most is that
I’m trying
she’s been buying me time
on a maxed out credit card
arms scarred from selling her own blood
to pay down the debt
tells me she doesn’t mind going broke
just so long as I can give her a little sweat
she says
try
so I do my best impression
of a pen
and when every problem looks like a page
I commit ink to paper
the worth of the words that come out
determines my wage
I’ve been making enough
to pay her the compliment
of not quitting..
of not sitting
when standing is required
she only asks that I put the effort in
and in return she’s willing
to pin a paper heart to her chest
then do her best impression
of a target
She tells me that effort
is the siamese twin of success
so when everyone else looks like a wrong answer
she says she’ll settle for being my best guess
so we lie in bed like a mess
that someone’s been meaning to clean
for the large part
of a long while
we lie there like a pile of dirty laundry
and how we’ll ever come clean
is beyond me
so we don’t
she says
it’s supposed to be dirty
and if by the end you haven’t hurt me
then you didn’t try
so I do my best impression
of a surgeon
cutting purple hearts out of my own
use my veins like thread
then have hurt sewn to our skin like medals
because when the bleeding stops
and that dust settles
all we have are our wounds
to wear like decorations
upon our chest
Sara does her best impression of a war
tells me not to count my pride among casualties
because maybe faith means never keeping score
she says there’s more to effort than just switching gears
and in terms of what one should give in life
sweat holds more value than tears
you have to try
and even though
the failing use of my right hand
means I’ll never land a knockout punch
in the first round
life is composed of sound and fury
whatever noise is left in me
will be twice as loud when I try
so I plug myself into the idea of going the distance
and I amplify
My darling, Sara
has a throat like a vase
she sings her words into bloom
has voice like perfume
it’s been sticking to my clothes
so everyone knows where I’ve been sleeping
she’s been keeping me so close
you could use my body for evidence
pull her fingerprints as proof
that she’s been on top so often
she’s starting to look like my roof
but a real sexy roof
and she doesn’t leak
unless you count the crying
she does that sometimes
worries that she’s just a back up plan
My darling, Sara.
I’ve lived long enough to learn
too many choices can destroy a man
I will make no exodus
I’ll be around long enough
to watch uncertainty bid us farewell
the echo our names into the crater
caused by the impact
of when our lack of conviction fell
you’ve never had to sell me on the idea
of absolute certainty in the trustworthiness of another
the first and only time you met my mother
mom said
“I like the way she looks at you”
and I echoed back to her
that I liked it too.
eyes like recycle bin blue
Sara looks at broken things
as if she can make them new
more than a few times I’ve caught her staring
caught her wearing
a smile reserved for those busy making plans.
Sara believes that distance is a fundamental
that can be side-stepped by a piece of string
and two tin cans
and I remember when my tin can rang.
they said
there’s no family to speak of
so love is next in line
and there’s not a lot of time but
she’s asking for her boyfriend
in the cab to the hospital I feel my heart bend
as if bracing for impact
so I do my best impression of a man
and face fact.
it’s supposed to hurt.
a doctor does his best impression of the truth
and spares me his attempts to skirt around the issue.
they can’t stop the bleeding
and the failing use of Sara’s heart
isn’t actually
the failing use of Sara’s heart..
it’s just another way to tell the time.
My darling, Sara
I was holding your hand when you died
and even though the failing use of my right hand
prevented me from feeling you leave..
I tried.”
some people…
they dont know how lucky they are
their parents still together and happy
little siblings that look up to them
amazing friends
a boyfriend
a great life

none of its good enough
they treat their parents like sh/t
they ignore their siblings
they leave the friends that have always been their for them and never hurt them
they look around at cute boys and say "d@mn too bad i have a boyfriend"
their life isnt good enough becase thwy dot have everything they want

yes i can be guilty of some of this but im finally seeing how lucky i am…
im sorry about my generation
everyone judges on looks
no ones ever good enough
no one treats anyone right
no one can be fully trusted
not even your best friend
everyone tries to run everyone elses lives and gets mad if someone tries to run theirs
everyone cheats
everyone tried to grow up too fast
but no one wanted to mature
so im sorry for everyone in my generation thats is like this
And just like that… the relationship ends… but I'm still happy I don't need him to be happy! I just need my friends
i've been clean for almost 8 months
i've made and lost friends over these 8 months
some know about how i used to be and some don't
this saturday i started going out with this guy
and we were hanging out at a car wash
since it was cold i was wearing a sweatshirt and under, a three-quarter sleeve
he said let me see the other shirts sleeve
he looked at my wrist and i guess he could tell
i never told him but i've told him stories of things that have happened that he could have thought that have happened
after i pull my sweatshirt back over my arm he immediately grabs my hand and kisses it
then he put his arm around me, kissed my cheek, told me how he cant believe how gorgeous i am, then kissed my forehead.
he's probably the best thing that has happened to me all year!
Frank, thank you for coming into my life. please stay, i promise i'll do my best to be good enough for you, even when i don't deserve someone as amazing as you
yesterday:
my mom picking out my flaws
im on the verge of breaking down
i feel te tears building up
so i check facebook on my phone
i see a notification and i check it
my friend Bridget said "you're beautiful, inside and out"
i never told her what happened
but she made my day
later, i was on a church pilgrimage
and my friend Patrick randomly told me
"you've looked great all day"
they have no idea what has happened in my life
but they helped me get through that day