Status: You don't get a second chance, life is no nintendo game.
Joined: February 2, 2013
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: February 19
user id: 348866
Location: Massachusetts
Gender: F
Remember you're beautiful, but not everyone is going to be able to see that love.

Me rocking Trevor's Football Shirtt. Ayeeeeee.^^             & Abby! Trevor & I's future kid/puppy (

Quotes by Getting_Better

Blow up my
& I'll love you forever

Ask anything.
I answer all.


Things have been picture perfect between us, so that's why I haven't written in awhile,
I think that I'm not going to write anymore, because things are going to be good for a long time.
You never know though.
Anywhoooooo, I talked Trevor into getting a witty...
Y'all should do me a really HUGE favor and follow him..

His account name is;

Getting Better

Well, Trevor and I broke up last Thursday.
We got into a HUGGGEE fight Thursday.
But it all started Wednesday night, it was time for our weekly talk, which I slowly started to dread, and hate, because for the past few weeks I have been hearing things I don't want to hear......I just want to make him happy:/

Wednesday, I ended up upset, and Thursday morning I got all his stuff together, and I took him off my facebook, and asked him when he wanted his stuff back.. Then I was like.. "So... is that it?" and he told me how he hasn't been all that happy lately and how he thinks we don't mix and that we are too different and we should go our seperate ways. I didn't want to do that. I wanted both of us to stay so badly.

I told him over and over and over that everything was going to be okay, that I was going to make it okay, that I would change for him, that I promised I would make everything better.....But he was going to leave me..I mean..he didn't even want to be my friend. At one point he said;
"I don't want to be your boyfriend, I certainly don't want to be your best friend, I don't even know if I want to be your friend"
Things got so, sososossosososoososososososo bad, I was bawling my eyes out, and I couldn't imagine him leaving me after all this time, after 2 years, talking every day, hugging almost every day, smiling almost every day, laughing, walking.... I couldn't do it, I personally didn't think I had the strength to stand alone without him by my side. It was terrible.
He was so mad at me......A different mad than I had ever seen before and it scared me and made me feel so bad.
All day, I never argued back, I just told him to stay.

Eventually, from the beginning of the argument at 12, around 4 , (arguing 4 hours straight) I got him to give me ONE more chance. But it's all on me now to make things better. This is my last shot. I can't blow it. It's scary and it doesn't make me feel good.

After that he told me he doesn't love me anymore.

After awhile, he had to eat dinner, and so did I.
I texted him this long thing Afterwards, apologizing for everything and asked him if we could play that question game that we did awhile ago to get to know each other better, and we stayed up until midnight playing that game. Then, he did tell me that he still does love me..

Then the next morning I asked him if he wanted to hang out that night (Friday night) and we ended up going to the mall for two hours that night. We had a lot of fun. We walked around and went into stores and talked, and laughed, and then ended up at the food court, where we both got something to drink and sat and talked for about a half an hour, and it was a great talk, then his dad picked us both up, and brought me home, Trevor came in with me and I gave him the things that I bought him when I was on vacation, we stood on my front porch, said I love you, and hugged then he left.

He texted me after saying that he had a really great time and that he missed being an idiot around me in person.. I had fun too.

Well, our talk is tomorrow, and I hope he hasn't decided to leave....I can't even......uhg.

I'm just mentally preparing myself for the worst but I'm hoping for the best. It was only a week, how much better can things get in like a week?
I don't know.
I hope he stays.
I love him.

I need to make things better.
They will be getting better. 

Getting Better

Well, we're dating.....
It started Thursday night, so it's only been a few days, and we decided it would just be titles, because we already acted like a couple and people already thought we were dating. We are just going to have a chill relationship, still act like how we were before, best friends, but also with the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend. It's just strange, it makes me feel weird. We decided we'd try it for a week before we told anyone, just so if within the week we didn't like it, no one would know so it wouldn't be so complicated. We are going to tell some of our close friends all together at the same time, Wednesday at graduation. I have a feeling they're going to be pretty stoked.

Anyways, we went on our eighth grade field trip and spent the afternoon together and had so much fun, we played mini golf, got matching tattoos, went swimming, and played tennis, I slept on the bus ride back, in his sweatshirt. We also took a million pictures together, which I'll put up in a little bit.

I finished that notebook I've been writing in for him. I put pictures of us in it, and wrote over 40 pages that were full of writing about our memories, our story, our feelings and thoughts, and I'm giving it to him tomorrow as a graduation gift, and he's gonna givee me one of my gifts- a sweatshirt to keep over the summer :D and then Tuesday, I'm hoping I get to read a journal entry he wrote about me in his ELA class.

The assignment was to write in your journal 1-3 of your favorite memories in your eighth grade year. He wrote two memories, one had to do with gym class, and being able to run over 90 laps on this PACER test (running test) , and then the second memory was slow dancing with me at the eighth grade dance. :) sorta made my weekend (:

Anyways, things are good for now:)
Getting Better

Last. Night. Was. Perfect.

So, he came over my house at 6, a half an hour late because he had to find something to wear xD
The dance started at 6:30 so We were just gonna hang out for awhile. It was sorta awkward because I didn't know what to say, so we went in my kitchen and watched America's Funniest Videos & Bridezillas xD

Right before we left for the dance, my parents took pictures of us together. We got to the school, showed the door monitor our tickets and walked down the pathway to the gym, where the dance was going to be. We got down there and went in two seperate directions, I went with my girls and he went with his guys. Then like 10 minutes later I went and got him so we could go up to where the photographer was to take pictures together. We got in line and finally it was our turn and I was like "just put your arm behind your back so it looks liike you have your arm around me" and he was like "what if I really do?" And I said "That's fine" and he did, then we took a group picture with another couple which I will put up on my profile.

Then we went back to the dance. A little while later a slow song came on but Trevor left before it came on to go take pictures with his guy friends, and it was one of my favorite songs so I was a little bummed for awhile. Then I didn't know most of the songs, they were really weird, so I just stood there like hi. Eventually another slow song came on and It was "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes, and Trevor & I were together and he asked me if I wanted to dance and I said yes, so I had to teach him how to slow dance, he didn't know where to put his hands, so I showed him, and it was really awkward because it was his first time xD

Then maybe a half an hour later another slow song came on, and I forgot what it was called, but again, Trevor asked me to dance, and I said yes, and this time went smoother, but I still had to show him what to do xD , Then the song ended and the cotton eye joe came on and i made him do that, then I taught him how to do the macerana, IT WAS HILARIOUS.

It was the end of the dance, and the last slow song came on, "Stay" by Rihanna, Trevor asked me one last time to dance, and I said "Of course" so by now he knew what to do, and he put his arms around me and we danced, and he was saying things like "There's no one I'd rather be dancing with right now" and "If I didn't have you, I don't know who I'd be dancing with" and stuff, and I'm like "Stop! I love you:)" and he goes "I love you too" The song ends, and we both walk out together, and we are standing outside in the rain, and he goes "You have to go?" and I was like "Yeaah." so he goes in for a hug, I didn't think he was gonna hug me tight but he did, and he hugged me long, and I put my head on his shoulder and said "I love you" in his ear, and he said "I love you too!" and we both walked seperate ways, and said Goodbye.

When I got home I took a shower and I got out I had a text from him and we talked and he told me I was his first time slow dancing, and I said "I was a lot of your firsts" Because I have been. He said that he had a great time, and apologized for stepping on my toes EACH TIME WE SLOW DANCED. -_- :)

It was amazing.
So glad we have been getting better
Getting Better

Things have been good, the usual now. Tomorrow is the school's Renaissance fair, that was the project we were doing.
Alsooo, Even though we already established we were going to the eighth grade dance together, (THIS FRIDAY!) he decided to ask me to it, like formally. Here's what happened;

I broke my glasses the other night, so in Italian class Trevor goes,
"Did you break your case too?"
"eh, it was already sorta broken."
"Give me it"
"uhhh okaaaay."
So I give him my case, and it's the end of class so he walks out of the room with it. I couldn't get out of my row because people were blocking it so I'm yelling "Trevor! I need those!" & fI finally get out and catch up to him down the hallway. He denies having my glasses case and I'm like, I see it in your hand! Eventually we get to the main lobby where we go seperate ways for second period. I go;
"Can I have my glasses?"
"Thanks, have a good day."
& I walk away with my glasses.
I get to my second period class, and I need my glasses, so I pull out my case and Open it, and on my glasses, there is a little sticky note that says;

"Lily, will you go to the dance with me? -Trevor"


Getting Better


Things are alright, Have been getting better. I even hung out with Trevor at our town's event called "Third Thursday". It was really fun, he talked so much I could barely get two words in!!!!! Haha I love him.
I saw his parents, and his brother, and his doggy (Nemoooo<3) I also met his aunt and uncle ! They're really nice.
Then he was supposed to come over Sunday & Help Cali and I on our projects presentation board thing, and Saturday morning he told me he couldn't come because he had a game Sunday the time he was supposed to come over. It would have been the 3rd time he bailed on me and I was really upset, because of course, he's too busy for me.
Anyways, his game ended up getting cancelled because of the rain so he came over and helped, then Cali had to go home so Trevor and I were alone for like ten minutes, it was really awkward.
Okay, so everything has been great, our projects pretty much done, just need to write the final draft of our essay and make one more visual. I'm not as stressed now , lol.

Oh yeah, Trevor and I ARE going to the eighth grade dance together.
He's my date.
Getting Better


Well our talk Wednesday went good, everything was fine, Wednesday during Italian class I actually got to know a lot more about him and his family.
Then Thursday came, and we were sitting in Italian class, talking about high school, and how he is gonna be on the football team next year, so I was like "Trevor can you promise me something?" and he said "depends on what it is" and I said "Promise me that if one of us gets popular no matter how popular you get, or how popular I get, we won't bail on each other."
And he couldn't promise me that.

We stayed after Thursday for a dance committee meeting, because we are gonna help decorate and stuff for the eighth grade dance. I still didn't understand why he couldn't promise me that, and he kept saying "what if we fight again?" I told him that I didn't think we were going to fight, I mean there's nothing left to fight about.. and I told him the promise would be off if we stopped being friends anyways, he still couldn't promise me. After the meeting was over he hugged me really tight and I left.

When we got home we were texting and we talked about it and he told me he doesn't know how he's going to feel walking into our big high school, he doesn't know if he'll want to still be with me, or if he'll have any feelings left.. and he said that he was prepared for us to fight and never talk again, that's why he wouldn't make the promise. He was ready for us to fight.. That hurt.
It makes me feel like he has no faith in me, faith in the thing we are doing now, the week by week thing, and it makes me feel like in a way he doesn't trust me, and it really hurts.
Friday I saw him for only a little bit in the morning because I had to take a math MCAS (Massachusetts Comprehensive Assessment System) test. We hugged goodbye and I told him I was sorry he felt the way he did, and I said I was sorry about everything.
After school he texted me, but I couldn't answer right away because I was 2 towns away at my family's farm, but he told me that he does trust me and does appreciate the changes I've beeen making, but he thinks he trusts me more than I trust him, because If I trusted him I wouldn't have even asked him to promise he wouldn't bail on me....I just wanted to be reassured that things were going to be okay, and he couldn't even tell me that.. He also said that he thinks I'm hiding my true feelings from him by trying to mask it with all the good changes that have been going on, he thinks on the inside I'm fed up with him, and have a lot of built up anger towards him. It's true that I'm hiding what I'm feeling, but it's not anger. It's sadness. I have never been so upset in a very long time over this whole thing.

But I thought we were getting better
Getting Better

Tomorrow will be one month since we have decided to try again,
One month since our last fight,
One month since I was mean and controlling
One month since crying myself to sleep
One month since my terrible moods at school because of him
One month since I have been mad at him
One month since we have been anything but perfect.
One month

Life is short but this time it is bigger
than the strength I have to get off of my knees.