Lacrosse97

While playing rollar coaster tycoon one time, i remember thatv i was tasked with the mission of getting a higher approval rating than the park next door. Rather than make my park better, i instead built a rollarcoaster that launched people at 100mph into my rival's park. since technically those people those people died in my rival's park, their approval rating would plummet and people would rush to my park and straight onto my deathcoaster, which only caused their rating to drop even lower and lower. i did this for an hour until the game said i won.

...And that ladies and gentlemen, is why i can never be given any modicum of power...ever.

A mom visits her son who lives with a girl roomate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldnt help but notice how pretty his roomate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious...

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and this roomate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, he volunteered, "i know what you must be something, but i assure you, we are just roomates."

About a week later, his roomate came to him saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, ive been unable to find the silver plate. you dont suppose she took it, do you?"

he said," well i doubt it, but i will email her, just to be sure."

Dear Mother:
I'm not saying you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate. but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
your son

Several days later, he recieved an email from his mother which read"

Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with your roomate, and im not saying that you 'do not' sleep with your roomate. but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she wouldve found the silver plate by now, under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.

Did you know...
that there is a LAW
saying that if your teacher doesnt show up to class within 15 minutes, you can leave that class?

Did you ever notice...
That common sense isnt so common?

PSYCHOLOGICAL FACT: When someone cries and the first drop of tears comes from the right eye, its from happiness. But when the first roll is from the left, it is pain.

But if you cry from both eyes at the same time, you probably stepped on a lego..

LIFE'S GREATEST MOMENTS
  1. When you're telling a lie and your best friend notices and joins in.
2. A friend calling you after a very long time just to hangout.
3. Not having to set an alarm for the next day.
4. When the radio station plays your favorite songs.
5. Discovering your crush writes likes you back.
 

Let me know when you're available to chat again

So I can make sure my phone is off

Dear guy sitting next to me in class, I cans ee you copying off of my test.

Sincerley, jokes on you, I didnt study either.

WHO CARES WHO WON THE SUPERBOWL?

I WAS ONLY THERE FOR THE FOOD AND THE COMMERCIALS

I could never cheat in a realtionship...

That would require TWO people finding me attractive....I can barely find one.