Status: working...yay.
Joined: June 1, 2013
Last Seen: 1 week
user id: 361860
Gender: F

This turned into my diary somehow.

i have a black dog. 

I'm still learning new things about myself.  I'm sorry for the spam.

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Dudu*'s Favorite Quotes

It's gonna go one of two ways.
I'll be the one or the one that got away.


 i'm just so conflicted. cause i know life is good. but this depression. this sad sulky feeling always comes back to me. i tell myself it's like happiness. happiness will always come back. in the same way, this sad unsettling feeling will also come back. but it is never forever. 

it still feels awful. i feel like i have to always distract myself so i don't feel it. it's this feeling of dread. i thought i would be happier by now and i am but here i am still. 

i want someone who i'm sure of.
i want him to be certain too.
i believe true love should be effortless.
If I really want my life to change, it’s up to me to hire a life coach to change it. 
In our salad days, a lot of us just eat the croutons.
I’m not divorced from reality, but we are seeing other people.
Now that I know the truth, the truth has made me free.

(Though to be honest, before knowing the truth it wasn't like I was all that expensive.)

Selective blurring, but for real life.
My dream has always been simple. A day job that ends when I clock out. A three bedroom house with a garage. An SUV parked in the driveway. The garage doubles as my home gym and dance studio. A massive mirror. My room, a study and the smallest room a kareoke room. That's it. Responsible only to myself. Answering only to myself. Living only for myself. To enjoy my life. That's the dream.
sometimes in the face of adversity you crumble.
sometimes it takes too much out of you to remain strong.
sometimes your environment takes too much of a toll on you.

sometimes it's okay to not blame myself for things i can't control.
sometimes i can go easy on myself for wasting another day away.
sometimes i do just need to eat junk and binge watch dr who to make myself feel better.

sometimes a nap in the afternoon is warranted without the excuse of a hectic morning.
sometimes tough love isn't enough.
sometimes i need to parent myself in a way that i was not parented.

take it day by day.
that's what i've always done.
and it's the only thing that always worked.