Joined: December 5, 2011
Last Seen: 7 years
user id: 247024
The voices in my head
told me to do it.

Quotes by PandaPants

I hate how
I'm never pretty enough
Never strong enough
Never good enough
I hate how
I lack that side of me
The one you desire me to be,
I'm trying, can't you see?
I hate how
I crave for you,
I love you,
I'd do anything for you.
I hate how
It's you I cry for,
it's you I try for,
it's you I lie for.
I hate how
I no longer see true,
I no longer breathe true,
& it's all because of you.


Dang, my poetry lately.. damn, my feels are going all kinds of ways.
I leaned back against the walk,
the numb feeling control.
The wounds
taking their toll.
The pain masks
my emotional state.
Drowning in sorrow
is my only fate.
So I slide the blade
over my fragile skin.
Leaving wounds
both large & thin.
The blood trickles,
down my arm.
My only escape
is self-harm.
I've tried talking,
I've tried meds.
The doctors say
it's all in my head.
But I can't escape,
even if that is the case.
My fears are no longer
something I can face.
So yet again,
here I sit,
sliding this blade
over my wrist.
My other hand
clenched in a fist
as I swerve the blade
into a twist.
Carving out
the word peace.
As my emotional pain
begins to release.
My small smile
holds up a lie.
As I absorb
my own personal high.


Each night I'm left
pondering these thoughts
Life fading before my eyes
as my heart slowly rots
I've lost faith
in the youth
The same youth
that showed me the truth
I don't belong here,
I've been told enough.
Holding on
has become far more tough.
As I wonder,
with thoughts clouding my mind.
The light inside this darkness
is becoming harder to find.
I'm stranded here,
there is no escape.
Forever stuck
in this messed up place.

Happiness is a delusion to mask the pain of reality.
Life is a book.
A new page every day.
& no matter how adjusted I get to these pages.
It never ceases to amaze me on the next page.
How quickly life can change in a single day.
How fast things can take a turn for the worst or for the better.
Never knowing if the next page is your last.
Living life in suspense.
Dying to live yet we're living to die.
Two butterflies, each a broken wing. Found each other amongst the trees. The pain they felt, with passion in mind. Helped each other to learn to fly.

I am a human-being
capable of doing terrible things..


One day, scissors will be for paper.
One day, razors will be for shaving.
One day, knives will be for food.
One day, food will be for eating.
One day, pills will be for the sick.
One day, we will recover 🌹

You are the one I want.

I love you,
but f*ck you.
I miss you,
but I hate you.
I hate you
for what you did to me emotionally and mentally.
I want you.
But I don't need you.
You left me with me memories buried deep in my mind.
I want them out.