Brown_Eyed_Wonder*

And I keep telling myself that it's okay, that I'm okay, but I'm not and I don't think I ever will be.

Tearstained cheeks and bloodshot eyes
All I want is to say goodbye
 

I have nowhere else to go, and nothing left to lose
So who would even notice, if I tied this noose?

I was so close to killing myself this weekend.
Why didn't I, you ask?
I have no idea.
 

I wish I could go back.
I wish I could change so many things, so many mistakes.
I wish I could turn off my feeings for you.
I wish I would be dead already.
I wish, I wish, I wish.

Bruises cover my broken body.
More and more makeup.
More and more tears.
How am I supposed to live like this?
 

And I wish I could disappear.
There's nothing left for me here.
Nobody cares, so why should I?

 

You once said you loved me.
But how could that be true?
I am ordinary in its simplest form.
I now understand.
And I am torn.

I keep telling myself, he doesnt actually love you.
You know that, right?
He uses you to boost his ego.
You'll never be good enough for him.
Have you seen the girls he's dated?
Have you seen you?
That's right.
How could he love you?

I hope you know that I love you.
I hope you know that I still care.
I hope that maybe one day..
I shouldn't, but I do.
Every word I wish wasn't true.
The dust of my heart is drifting away.
How I wish you could save the day.
But you do not care.
So here I am.
Hoping.
Hoping.
Hoping.