Joined: July 4, 2012
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Quotes by ThisGirlIsAKittyKat

How screwed would we be if our crush found our Witty account.
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.
He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups, and set about nailing it into a post on the edge of his yard.
As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.
He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," He said ,"I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," Said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck ,"these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," Said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here Dolly!" He called.
Out from the doghouse and down a ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stiring inside the doghouse.
Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller.
Down the ramp it slid. Then in an awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling towards the others, doings it's best to catch up...
"I want that one," The little boy said pointing to the pup.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said ,"Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.
Looking back up at the farmer, he said ,"You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."
With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the boy.
"How much?" Asked the little boy.
"Now charge," Answered the farmer ,"There's no charge for love."

Zayn: When I was younger I had two cats named Lily and Lolo.
Harry: Not very original...
Niall: Harry, you had a hamster named 'Hamster'.
Dear shaving commercials,

Please stop shaving hairless legs. If you really want to impress us, shave a gorilla.
You'd hear things like,
"How very like your father you are, you arrogant fool, he would have missed that turn as well..."
"There will be no foolish lane-crossing or silly exiting for two miles."
Dear Boys,
if you are wearing a hat, be prepared for it to be taken by us.
        Girl running away with your hat.
When a guy stares at you in class it's adorable.
But when a girl stares at you in class it's as though she's a creeper.
So today my dad and I were sitting in the living room. My sister was walking by her on her way to her room when my dad's laptop died and he said,"damn!" 
Then my five year old sister proceeded to say,
"Yeah. That's what all the guys say when I walk by."
Friend: I'm dating a banana.
Me: Your dating a banana?
Friend: Lmfao! Autocorrect I meant 'eating'.
Me: Sure you do...
Friend: Why would I date a banana?
Me: Because your desperate.

My sister is talking to our cats, pretending they can understand her, meanwhile my parents are showing each other their feet and arguing who's feet is dirtier.

My family is socially awkward.
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