Status: I thought the bass was gonna drop but then it never did - an autobiography
Joined: August 2, 2012
Last Seen: 5 years
Birthday: October 31
user id: 322238
Location: A dumb beach town in the south T.T
Gender: F

 ] hi there 

Quotes by WhenAllElseFails

The ultimate spring break/summer vehicle;


If you ever feel embarrassed, just remember

there was a kid going through my backpack
on Friday and found an unwrapped tampon
and didn't know what it was and showed it to 
the teacher and literally the whole class
fell apart we were laughing so hard

True story.


When you're reading someone's quotes and have to keep flipping to the next page of them and whatever song is on their profile keeps restarting and you're just like omg shuttup I can now recite the first 6 seconds of this song


I don't know about anyone else, but I don't really get on Witty to gain followers. Like, for real, this ain't twitter or instagram. 
This is Witty, the land of awkward potatoes.

When I get a favorite and I'm like *0*

Me: I'm not going to shave for all of April.
Me: I mean, like, look at these sticks.
Me: They're nice and shaved now.
Me: But they won't be in 5 weeks.
Me: *laughs*
Me: Oh. Oh. OHHH.
Me: I'm going to be so hairy!
Me: You'll be able to see my leg hairs floating in water.
Me: That'll be some bath time fun.
Me: But I'm going to shave my armpits.
Me: It would be bad if I lifted my arm up
Me: and I would be really hairy
Me: and people would give me looks
Me: and my only response could be "sorry, I meant to braid that."

I feel like calling the Hunger Games fans "Collinists". Get it? Like Susanne COLLINS? 

Admit it. You all wish you could start my trend.


So basically, my little cousin and my uncle and I went mini golfing. 

Little cousin: How do I hit this golf ball?
Uncle: Just golf like Daddy does!
Little cousin: *stares at ball for 5 seconds* *swings the club as hard as he can* 
Golf ball: *goes 2 inches*
Little cousin: *slams golf club on the ground*
Little cousin: DAMMIT!!!

And that, my friends, is how Daddy golfs.

So there's a kid at my school
and his name is Graham. Well, 
we call him Graham Cracker.

When guys ask some kind of question about girls
and you answer it in complete detail, and they give you the look of "deer in the headlights" 
and all you say is, "Well, you asked for it,"

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