Status: I'm back to make you laugh.
Joined: November 18, 2012
Last Seen: 1 year
user id: 339145
Location: Out of your league. Nah, I'm really not.
Gender: F

Quotes by glitter162*


I like how Iggy is in

the fast lane from LA to Tokyo even though there is a gigantic f/cking ocean in between


Me: *checks phone*
Me: Guys please I can't answer all 0 messages at once


There should be an emoji

keyboard for computers



When I was little,

I thought that Jesus was a chicken strip because in one Christmas song it said he was tender and mild. You know what else is tender and mild? A chicken strip.



In my high school English

class we read a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg and then while she was waiting for the cops to come she cooked it and then fed it to them so the murder weapon was gone. I aspire to be that woman.



People are scared to

"double text" but I literally send 7 paragraphs in a row



Me in any situation:

I think I'm coming off as annoying



When little kids scream

I want to look them in the eye and scream 10 times louder to show them who's boss



One time in first grade

I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit



There’s nothing more

irritating than songs that you don't like but are catchy