glitter162*

  

I like how Iggy is in
the fast lane from LA to Tokyo even though there is a gigantic f/cking ocean in between







  

  

There should be an emoji
keyboard for computers







  

  

When I was little,
I thought that Jesus was a chicken strip because in one Christmas song it said he was tender and mild. You know what else is tender and mild? A chicken strip.







  

  

In my high school English
class we read a story about this woman who killed her husband with a frozen lamb leg and then while she was waiting for the cops to come she cooked it and then fed it to them so the murder weapon was gone. I aspire to be that woman.







  

  

People are scared to
"double text" but I literally send 7 paragraphs in a row







  

  

Me in any situation:
I think I'm coming off as annoying







  

  


When little kids scream
I want to look them in the eye and scream 10 times louder to show them who's boss










  

  

One time in first grade
I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit








  

  


There’s nothing more
irritating than songs that you don't like but are catchy