softballchica15

I may seem all happy and cool on the outside, but on the inside I'm an absolute wreck.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbKL7pMmFR-4GH2Bwjt9X6g?feature=mhee




 

I'm going to prom guys :)

Staying Strong
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ukp9Wknlx9Q

Hey Guys!
This is my new positive channel on YouTube to maybe help some of you guys....

If there's anything you guys would like to see or hear from me let me know because I really want a lot of people to benefit from my

videos. I'd really appreciate it!  So if you would please take the time to watch them and let me know your thoughts, we could make

this go big! Sooo thanks guys! :)
-Mara-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfzdzbPQa1E&feature=youtu.be
 

I feel so alone.

Alright so I'm a sophomore and he's a senior. He told me he was gonna ask me to prom when tickets went on sale....which I don't know when that is. The thing is, should I start looking for a dress? Or what that make me look like ... idk. So my question is, should i start looking for a dress?

This is what I want in life: I want you to be mine. Even if you're not, just come over and hang out. Watch The Notebook. Laugh for no reason. Cuddle. Dance and sing like idiots. Watch old Disney movies. Hug. Talk about anything and everything. Dance even when there's no music, and just dance like in the old days. Just have fun and be happy. That's all I could ask for right now.

So I think I had an anxiety attack the other day. It really scared me. Just all of a sudden I got really scared and started hyperventilating, and everything was a mess; I couldn't think straight. Today I had this feeling someone was behind me in my room. I was terrified. I turned around and nothing was there. The whole room just had this awful, evil energy about it for around 2-3mins. This has been happening a lot lately. Along with that, I get extremely worried and anxious about everything. It happens even when there's absolutely nothing to worry about. For example, tonight at dinner I got really tense and nervous and anxious for no reason. It's starting to worry me. I feel like I'm going insane and if I tell people they'll call me crazy and that will be the end of it. I just don't know what to think anymore.

I'm freaking out. Why am I freaking out? I can't think straight. My mind is a mess. I want to do it again. I haven't since October. I've been doing really good. I'm at my breaking point again but I'm not sure why and that's really scaring me. I've been pretty good at handling the whole mess before but for some reason I'm a mess. It's not even crying. It's hyperventilating and then I get the awful thoughts and then it's back to a giant mess that I don't know what's happening in it. Why am I like this? I don't want to be. I'm scared. I really am. What's become of me?