spence*

do u ever feel like every single person you care about cares about someone else more

i find it really weird how we can talk to ourselves in our head like how does that even work

                        
    
   Maybe they knew.
       
       Maybe they knew about how much I loved you. It may sound crazy, but maybe this piece-of sh;t school that i despise ever so greatly knew the entire time how much of a problem it would be to put us in the same places at the same time.  After that Friday, August 24, 2012 my life would never be the same. For the first year, we were together for just barely two things. You rode my bus, you were in my biology class. You were in my study hall period, too, but I don't really count that because the teachers wanted the class to be silent so the period could be used for what it was meant for. But still, even just that was getting too much of you. And ever since then, you took over me. The next year, our buses were switched, to my dismay. But was I really upset because I was no longer able to face a crazy amount of anxiety, just to find out you were going to sit next to another girl within 10 minutes? And the fact that sometimes, you didn't even bother to sit with me at all. But we still had health class every other day, and that dreaded silent study hall where all i could do was hope you were looking my way and thinking maybe, just maybe, we could be something more. And once I thought I was over you, towards the end of our year you took over me again. I probably only thought I was over you since we haven't talked much and i've taken a slight interest in different guys. But boy was I wrong, and I know that now. And this time, it was stronger than ever, insane, powerful. Even more powerful than during our young freshman days when I had no idea what love was. Believe me when I say I've never ever felt this way about anyone else. No one. And I believed you wanted me too. The way you put your arm around me and paid so much attention to only me in group settings, the way that all my peers thought you were feeling something for me, them questioning you and then you replying with answers that weren't straightforward in the least, oh it makes me sick. Just to find out you're trying to chase after another girl. And now we are here, to this year. And how many classes do we have together? None. Do we ride the same bus? No. I barely see you at all, I'm lucky to see you just once in a day. And you don't even bother to talk to me. But I guess this school knew how bad you were for me. I guess they knew I had to stop getting my hopes up. They knew, and they were trying to get me away. It's been two years, and it's time that I knew and gotten myself away, too.




































































 

I act like it doesn't bother me, but inside, it's killing me

& IF YOU DON'T EXPECT  TOO MUCH FROM ME
you  might  not  be  let  down 
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
CUZ ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE WITH YOU
&  feel  like  I  matter  too
 

 

Format by _Jannette.

One of the biggest lies I've ever heard is:
"Easy come, easy go."