I wait for you pop online or for a reply I genuinely love getting

I wait for you pop online or for a reply 
I genuinely love getting a response. 
it hurts me that I'm always initating contact 
(I'll get interrupted  by him when he says he does all the calling but he also forgot how he told me he hates when I call him) 
I feel like I'm always waiting for a message. 
The truth is i feel like I'm just an option for you. 
there's no effort from you in this relationships anymore. 
your priorities are quite obvious and I know things have changed.  
it feels like you don't care about us anymore?  
(interrupted  by saying how i don't care and it's my own fault for not communcating with him)
I understand that people find more interesting things to do. 
Please don't make me feel like a clown. 
Can you be honest with me?
When you asked me if i was happy in this relationship and i said yes without a second thought. 
were you looking for an out?   
just tell me and i won't bother you again.  
(he'll go on sayinng how i said i was happy and fine and this is stupid and me feeling lonely and wanting him to do so much is not possible)
i'll sit and listen to him scold me on how wrong i am for feeling this way. 
when he could easily just  say yes.