my life for the past few weeks have been hell..... i dont know what
to do... im trying to fix what i once had with my girlfriend but it
seems like everytime i try, i fail. i miss making her smile and
laugh at my jokes. i miss the way she makes me feel when she tells
me that she misses me. i miss having her in my arms and not moving
from where we are. i miss being able to go to her house and watch
movies and cuddle together and tickle her to make her laugh and
stay up late with her and then kiss her goodnight. i miss being
able to wake up in the morning and have a smile on my face because
i know when i see her shes gonna kiss me good morning and give me a
big hug.. i miss alot of things about her. we're still together
and im suprised she hasnt left me yet..... i havent been such a
great boyfriend.. we fight alot and argue and she gets upset and i
say sorry but she doesnt want to talk to me so i feel like a
terrible person... im just like my father.. always gets angry or
stressed or just annoyed. and i take my anger out on my girlfriend
and i dont mean to because i love her more than anything but i dont
realize that i take my anger out on her until i see her crying and
then i just want to jump off a bridge.. when we first started to
date things were great. they were perfect. we were happy and theres
was nothing getting in our way. but now things have changed. one of
my friends tried to steal her from me and make her love him again
and he was her ex boyfriend too.. well thats what i thought he was
doing but he wouldnt do that to me ... then it seemed
like she was falling in love with him again and i was hurt bad...
my heart was splitting in half and i couldnt do anything.. i want
her to realize that some of the things she does hurts me... i want
her to realize that im right for her, that she can go to me for
anything and not be afraid to tell me anything.. yea i might get a
little upset or mad because no one wants to hear bad news, but if u
tell me things and not hide things from me then we wont be were are
are now... we would still be happy and things would still be
perfect like they use to be.... but i also want her to realize that
even though i cant read her body language or her thoughts doesnt
mean that i dont care. im trying my best to read you and understand
you... you can read me like a book and know what im thinking
of but i have trouble with that.... i want you to know that you
mean more to me than anything.... you make me happy and you make me
feel loved and u show me that you care about me.. tomorrow will be
our ninth month being together and it makes me so happy that i have
been with the most amazing girl in the whole world... i cant live
without her.... i lost her once and i dont want to lose her again..
shes going to college and im afraid she will forget about me and go
date a college guy behind my back... she needs to realize that i
love her with all my heart and let me help her with all her
problems...