*how was work*
me talking about small things
slowly stops
when I realize
the small echos
of reels and his giggles
he wasn't even listening
he never effing does
why do you keep thinking
he's going to change
he DOESNT CARE ABOUT
WHO YOU ARE AS YOU NOBODY DOES!
me talking about small things
slowly stops
when I realize
the small echos
of reels and his giggles
he never effing does
why do you keep thinking
he's going to change
he DOESNT CARE ABOUT
WHO YOU ARE AS YOU NOBODY DOES!
If you need anything, just let me no.
I need a reminder that I matter
because
I can not see straight lately.
because
I can not see straight lately.
I need someone to tell me
if he's moving too fast.
I just got out of fast moving
relationship.
I can't be caught up
making the same
mistakes.
if he's moving too fast.
I just got out of fast moving
relationship.
I can't be caught up
making the same
mistakes.
plot twist: i actually get better. maybe
someday.
court
mandated
sobriety
for
a year?
ive
already
lost
3 more
pounds
and
cut
twice.
it has
been
4 days.
eff
everything.
"Jump", it says.
"Go on, no one is stopping you", it continues. . . .
I agreed...
No one is stopping me. . .I could do as offered right now!
I'm ready
I close my eyes, think of my runaway home, and smile.
My eyes open...and...i'm still where I hated.
"Jump", it says again.
"Jump"
"Jump"
. . .My feet arent moving, but my bones are dying.
Shaking.
Jumping themselves.
Why wont i move?
What's stopping me?
No one.
Exactly.
If I'm the one stopping myself...Doesn't that make me a no one?
"Go on, no one is stopping you", it continues. . . .
I agreed...
No one is stopping me. . .I could do as offered right now!
I'm ready
I close my eyes, think of my runaway home, and smile.
My eyes open...and...i'm still where I hated.
"Jump", it says again.
"Jump"
"Jump"
. . .My feet arent moving, but my bones are dying.
Shaking.
Jumping themselves.
Why wont i move?
What's stopping me?
No one.
Exactly.
If I'm the one stopping myself...Doesn't that make me a no one?
I'm trying to reach out.
But no one is listening.
I've fallen in a ditch, more like a grave.
Will no one help pull me out?
I feel like im dying.
Is this my home now?
I dont belong here.
I feel unwanted.
I'm not who I want to be, nor whom they want me to be.
Who am I besides the girl's name that is so-called mine.
It's amazing to witness the ones that come to hep on their own.
it's amazing to witness it's the ones that want to be there...
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should "give in".
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should do what it is they want me to do.
Where did you go?
Nowhere.
You've been here all along.
Doing nothing.
Do I deserve that?
Do I deserve the nothing you're giving?
What do I deserve?
I thought I was better.
I thought I finally did it.
I thought I finally made it.
Truthfully, there are so many there.
But they're waiting for something that is never going to happen.
It's a test, can't they see?
Its a test that none of us are passing.
I'm losing grip and no one is doing anything.
My hands are hurting, as well as my body, and heart.
End this pain, I beg.
End it.
its happened one too many times these past 7 years, one too many.
I'm trying to reach out.
But no one is listening.
But no one is listening.
I've fallen in a ditch, more like a grave.
Will no one help pull me out?
I feel like im dying.
Is this my home now?
I dont belong here.
I feel unwanted.
I'm not who I want to be, nor whom they want me to be.
Who am I besides the girl's name that is so-called mine.
It's amazing to witness the ones that come to hep on their own.
it's amazing to witness it's the ones that want to be there...
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should "give in".
Just to finally have an excuse as to why I should do what it is they want me to do.
Where did you go?
Nowhere.
You've been here all along.
Doing nothing.
Do I deserve that?
Do I deserve the nothing you're giving?
What do I deserve?
I thought I was better.
I thought I finally did it.
I thought I finally made it.
Truthfully, there are so many there.
But they're waiting for something that is never going to happen.
It's a test, can't they see?
Its a test that none of us are passing.
I'm losing grip and no one is doing anything.
My hands are hurting, as well as my body, and heart.
End this pain, I beg.
End it.
its happened one too many times these past 7 years, one too many.
I'm trying to reach out.
But no one is listening.
Who am I besides the
girl's name that is
so-called mine?
~~~~~~~~~ACTUAL TEXTS~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday 4:45 PM
Alright Boyyo, long story short you're an awesome friend that says he doesnt give a shizz unless it involves ones that he cares about or loves, then peoples balls or ahhes or gonna get kicked and faces are gonna get punched. You deserve a crap ton of awesome shizz and the crap of shizz thats not awesome thats happening to you right now, as sucky as it sounds, is life doing it's thing. You're gonna have fights with some people, lose friends, gain some, it's happens. You learn from the past (lmao i should too) and i think leasrning from it is the best thing you could do, along with helping others when you're feeling like total shizz. Chin up, Bud. It DOES get better. Takes a long as time to, but in the end, usually, it's worth it. You've come way too far to give up now. BOYYO YOU'RE GONNA BE 17 IN A FEW DAYS. You've survived 17 years of hell-ish and heaven-ish stuff. (meaning shizz and goodness) That's pretty awesome. Pathetically, to me it is. Yeah you are gonna deal with complete idiots in life, but ayyyyyyye in a way, you're at least smarter than someone. (i shouldnt even be talking lmao) You mean a lot to everyone. More than you think you do. You may have a little circle..if i can remember correctly...your day 1 peeps. lmao. Little circle but everyone's got an enormous, roomy spot for you intheir hearts. we care about you, we adore you, and we love you. If you're ever feeling down, you have enough people, even if it's just 1 person, that care for you and will attempt their best to lift you up. You kinda do the same, but also hit us with the "facts" or "observants" you've made about someone and make the people who feels like shizz, even shizzier, but also look at the situation through your perspective. 😕 Anywho, Chin up. You're awesome. You've made it 17 years far, there's no room for giving up. Life is short but we gotta live it while we can and days go by slow but years go by faster. Last time i checked, we were in 20-freaking-16. A whole year flew by me (i feel like that was wasted 😕) But i can almost guarantee you the years that are coming by while we're alive is going to come by slower but pass us reallyyyyyyyyy quick. LIVE YA LIFE AND LOVE WHO YOU CAN LOVE AND uhhh RAISE A MIDDLE FINGER TO THE SKY AND SAY F*CK IT ALL but also consider the shizz you do :))
Yesterday 4:45 PM
lol ok have fun reading that
Yesterday 9:06 PM
Oh and Someone wise once told me and everybody else to "stay positive". Might as well remind you
Dummy 9:42 PM
That was really nice of you to actually take the time to do that, I appreciate it. And yeah yeah I know, practice what I preach and all that Jazz
10:45 PM
I really dont mind retyping that and you better follow your own advice. (hard for me to do, but i'm learning and you should do it too, since you already know it)
Dummy 10:47 PM
I should, you're right
10:48 PM
THATS a plot twist, *i'm* right! But in all seriousness, you deserve more, yeah sometimes we should let things play out, but if we don't take control either, things will spiral out of control, more than they are now.
10:49 PM
I hope you feel better and everything thats great news to you happens
10:50 PM
Things may go to shizz, but it's up to you if you wanna make it *awesome*
10:52 PM
And try to rest while you can, okay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~`DISCLAIMER`~~~~~~~~~~~~
The reason why i post this is because i would like to remember these in case they get deleted off my phone...and this person means a lot to me, and i dont want to lose them. These past few texts are actual texts from conversations i've had with my friends...We're all going through something and this specific one is to uplift us..This friend is going through nearly the worst thing and Doing this makes me feel like any is capable of doing (positively)....I hope this does help some others as well.
Yesterday 4:45 PM
Alright Boyyo, long story short you're an awesome friend that says he doesnt give a shizz unless it involves ones that he cares about or loves, then peoples balls or ahhes or gonna get kicked and faces are gonna get punched. You deserve a crap ton of awesome shizz and the crap of shizz thats not awesome thats happening to you right now, as sucky as it sounds, is life doing it's thing. You're gonna have fights with some people, lose friends, gain some, it's happens. You learn from the past (lmao i should too) and i think leasrning from it is the best thing you could do, along with helping others when you're feeling like total shizz. Chin up, Bud. It DOES get better. Takes a long as time to, but in the end, usually, it's worth it. You've come way too far to give up now. BOYYO YOU'RE GONNA BE 17 IN A FEW DAYS. You've survived 17 years of hell-ish and heaven-ish stuff. (meaning shizz and goodness) That's pretty awesome. Pathetically, to me it is. Yeah you are gonna deal with complete idiots in life, but ayyyyyyye in a way, you're at least smarter than someone. (i shouldnt even be talking lmao) You mean a lot to everyone. More than you think you do. You may have a little circle..if i can remember correctly...your day 1 peeps. lmao. Little circle but everyone's got an enormous, roomy spot for you intheir hearts. we care about you, we adore you, and we love you. If you're ever feeling down, you have enough people, even if it's just 1 person, that care for you and will attempt their best to lift you up. You kinda do the same, but also hit us with the "facts" or "observants" you've made about someone and make the people who feels like shizz, even shizzier, but also look at the situation through your perspective. 😕 Anywho, Chin up. You're awesome. You've made it 17 years far, there's no room for giving up. Life is short but we gotta live it while we can and days go by slow but years go by faster. Last time i checked, we were in 20-freaking-16. A whole year flew by me (i feel like that was wasted 😕) But i can almost guarantee you the years that are coming by while we're alive is going to come by slower but pass us reallyyyyyyyyy quick. LIVE YA LIFE AND LOVE WHO YOU CAN LOVE AND uhhh RAISE A MIDDLE FINGER TO THE SKY AND SAY F*CK IT ALL but also consider the shizz you do :))
Yesterday 4:45 PM
lol ok have fun reading that
Yesterday 9:06 PM
Oh and Someone wise once told me and everybody else to "stay positive". Might as well remind you
Dummy 9:42 PM
That was really nice of you to actually take the time to do that, I appreciate it. And yeah yeah I know, practice what I preach and all that Jazz
10:45 PM
I really dont mind retyping that and you better follow your own advice. (hard for me to do, but i'm learning and you should do it too, since you already know it)
Dummy 10:47 PM
I should, you're right
10:48 PM
THATS a plot twist, *i'm* right! But in all seriousness, you deserve more, yeah sometimes we should let things play out, but if we don't take control either, things will spiral out of control, more than they are now.
10:49 PM
I hope you feel better and everything thats great news to you happens
10:50 PM
Things may go to shizz, but it's up to you if you wanna make it *awesome*
10:52 PM
And try to rest while you can, okay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~`DISCLAIMER`~~~~~~~~~~~~
The reason why i post this is because i would like to remember these in case they get deleted off my phone...and this person means a lot to me, and i dont want to lose them. These past few texts are actual texts from conversations i've had with my friends...We're all going through something and this specific one is to uplift us..This friend is going through nearly the worst thing and Doing this makes me feel like any is capable of doing (positively)....I hope this does help some others as well.
