You are not your sadness—it cannot control you.
—(DS)
I don't know what the future holds.
I don't know where I'll be ten years from now;
A YEAR FROM NOW, EVEN.
What I do know is that
IF ALL I EVER HAD WAS THIS MOMENT,
right here with you,
I would never want for anything more.
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!
The thing is that I constantly shut myself out from you because I am scared. Scared that I will fall in love, scared that I will become a mess when you leave, I'm scared because I don't want you to leave. I'm scared because one day you're going to wake up and realize you have more important things to be doing than spending half your life chasing someone who is scared to even be chased.
Breathing was so much easier when you were a part of my life. — (DS)
It was January of that year and the wind blew so hard it shook my house. You shook your head and said the winter would never be as cold as me. I wasn’t sure if you were talking about my fingers that were interlaced with yours- you always said they felt like ice- or they way I blocked everyone out and left them frostbite if they touched me.
April came along and so did that monstrous thunderstorm. We shut off all the lights and lit candles and built a fort and you whispered in my ear how much you loved me. I let you take me to a place I had never been and when the candles had all blown out we sat whispering back and forth in the dark. You said you couldn’t imagine your life without me. I took the tree of life charm off my necklace and placed it in your palm. “You are my life.”
I remember July that year when it was so hot everything melted: ice cream, sunblock, and me when I saw you under the midnight moon. You kissed my neck even though it was drenched in sweat and I laughed when you told me that that’s what true love is about. The summer sun could not compare to a love as bright as ours.
The leaves fell in September and we went to the school dance. You kissed my forehead and told me I felt like home. That night we took your truck out to that bonfire and had our own dance under the stars. I said you are the only home I've ever known.
December came and it was the coldest of all. It had just started to snow that night when we arrived at Jessica’s party. You saw your little sister kissing a boy four years older and wanted to get out. You kissed me goodbye and your lips tastes like alcohol and cigarettes. It must have been one drink too many because you crossed the center line and the Semi couldn’t see you from around the curve. The only thing they found of you was a tree shaped charm.
I don’t really like whiskey but you can smell it on my
breath & Malboro isn’t my brand but I’ll smoke
one now and then to remember your taste that night. I’ve
looked for you at the bottom of bottles and in cigarette butts
but I can’t seem to find a trace of you. I visited your
grave and I swear I felt you there. I screamed at the empty road
that I was sorry and I begged you to come home. The silence that
replied let me know that you're gone and I'm alone.
(s.a.h.)
"Well, maybe I don't care." He replied.
She took a step closer, so the tips of her shoes clipped his.
She was shorter than him, but she might as well have towered.
Her face was fierce. "That. Right there? That's a lie."
It was. Oh, it was.
nmf
and others, I feel like you're helping me out of the grave.
