at seventeen, you should've known
that the world isn't always beautiful and
that life isn't always lovely and you
should never change the way you are for
the sake of a teenage boy but yesterday he
told you that there is something beautiful in
death and you wanted nothing more than
to stand on the edge of a cliff and feel
your feet get swept out from underneath
you
your twisted heart strings wrap
around your chest to leave an unwanted
reminder that you love him and you loved
him and you will love him and it hurts;
you used to wrap yourself around him every
night like a caterpillar that didn't want to
become a butterfly but time doesn't stop
for anyone, does it? (you hit the ground as
soon as you left the cocoon) (how could
you fly when your heart is so heavy?)
he never bought you flowers and he
never held the door open and he only tried
to kiss you whenever he had a girlfriend;
you tried so hard to forget about his olive
skin and playful eyes but he still had the
nerve to tell you how much he loved you
(do not apologize for missing him; he might
have been an a-hole but you still see the
good in everybody)
you get nightmares every tuesday
about the time he rested his hands on your
cheek and really looked at you and every
sunday you're reminded of how it felt to be
trapped between him and his mangled
cotton bed sheets and mondays are the
worst because you can only think about
that saturday when you told him you hated
him and you can still smell the sadness in
his eyes (he was flying, you were crashing)
-this wasn't the love you thought you wanted
You keep trying to make yourself stop loving him. I can
see it in the way you get lost in another boy so quickly, then
seem somewhat relieved when it doesn't work out. I see it in the
way your hands begin to shake and your words come out slower and
stop making any sense when he walks by. I see it in your eyes
when you ask me if I think he'll notice you stopped texting him.
It's not healthy, and it's not making you love him any less. All
you're doing is shooting arrows into your heart while dreaming
that they will land in his. They don't. Stop telling yourself
that you're okay with the fact that he's ignoring your existance.
Stop punishing yourself. Stop feeling like you can't love
yourself simply because he wouldn't stay long enough to love you.
Get your a.ss out of bed, watch a movie with your friends without
stopping to look for him amount the crowd. Buy yourself that
Victoria's Secret underwear set you spent so long hinting to him
that he should buy for you. You are not the feelings he left you
with. You are as beautiful and rock solid as you were the Tuesday
before he waltzed into your life and made you feel like he was
the universe spinning in circles around you. You have spent too
long running through your maze of a mind in which you've placed
the image of his laugh on every corner. You can just as easily
make an escape and get the he.ll out of there. Set yourself free.
You do not need his affection in order to let yourself breath
steadily. You are the earth and the moon and the sky, and he is
nothing but an apple tree. Just remember not to plant another
spoiled apple seed.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S O F A R
you've survived 100% of your worst days
and that means you're doing great.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
S O F A R
you've survived 100% of your worst days
and that means you're doing great.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
© format coded by: br0kenwings
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!
please stop being cute it makes me sad because I can't nap with you
Feelings
