Wit Quotes

That it's whispered, is what's whispered.
If they’d had Google Maps in Milton’s era, I bet paradise would never have gotten lost.
Every war is a guano war.

When all is said and done, at least we won’t have to hear this cliché anymore.

I looked up the definition of 'denouement.'

Talk about a denouement.

The true story is not based on a true story.
'Underwire' means redundant surveillance where I come from.
My wife told me I needed to start being realistic. 

I thought I was pretty life-like for a hologram.


we were at the airport one time the guy at check-in reminded us

that we weren’t allowed to carry


objects with us onto the plane and i said “oh damn looks

like i’ll have to leave behind my wit” and thats how

i made a middle-aged guy laugh so hard he had to get his

colleague to take over his check-in desk

Dan: I know what you think of me, you think I'm a boring, sheltered nobody

Chuck: I don't think of you
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