Funny Quote #6695722
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Without me. Its just aweso.

Without me.
Its just aweso.

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thinkidiot

posted March 29, 2013 at 6:54pm UTC tagged with funny, awesome

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i'm seriously considering filling my pockets with glitter and whenever someone near me says something really stupid or rude, i'll just reach into my pocket with a dead expression and realease the glitter into the sky above their head and watch it shower over them like a baptism of stupid.
Perfect guys don't exi- Hi I'm Steve and I made witty profiles.
>Be 21. >Girlfriend is 19 >Been dating for months now. >This guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life. >He's my new coworker at my company. >Find out he has no money and no place of residence. >He moved here for the money and can no longer afford his hotel room. >I decide to open up to him >Let him stay in my apartment for weeks. >Bro is pretty cool >We play xbox, drink beers, and watch football. >This continues for months >Afterwards, find out girlfriend is pregnant >By tradition, I have to marry her now. >One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her. >Joe stayed late at the office for overtime >I pop the question to my girlfriend. >She admits Joe r/ped her and the baby is not mine. >She isn't ready for a commitment after being violated. >Go home in f/cking rage. >Throw out all Joe's sh/t. >Gonna kill Joe when he gets home. >Joe gets home about 1 a.m. >As soon as he opens door, I punch him in the face. >Eyes swell up like a ball of cotton >He swings at me >Dodge and sweep his leg >He falls down >Go to my room and grab a handgun from my drawer >Go back to confront Joe >Joe jumps in his car and f/cking hightails it out of there. >I haven't seen or heard from him since. >On the phone a month later with my brother >He asks why I've been so depressed >I tell him, If it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, >I'd been married long time ago >Where did you come from? Where did you go? >Where did you come from Cotton-Eyed Joe? Follow for a follow.
Yes, Facebook. I do know them. Do I want to be their friend? No. ~sandrasaurus format~