Confession Quote #6962989
all quotes · confession · relapse · xx · story ·

i'm so close to relapsing, that i can feel it.

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nemophilist

posted February 17, 2014 at 3:38am UTC tagged with confession, relapse, xx, story

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I like being alone, but i hate being lonely.xx
More Than Friends c h a p t e r / / f o u r t e e n Carson's POV I started writing my suicide note as soon as I got home. I didn't know who to adress it, so this is how it went Dear, well, eveyone, I think it's time for me to leave this place. I've lost every one around me. My parents, my brother, Mitch, and Amy. There really isn't a reason for me to be alive any longer. Amy, I understand you want to be with Cole, but you led me on so many times. I hope he treats you right because you deserve to be treated like you're the only girl alive. You're beautiful and it's true, I love you. And Mitch, I'm sorry I flipped out. We've been best friends for years, but it's time for me to go. I'll miss you Amy, Mitch, Kenny, and whoever else even cares for me. Love, Car. Then I walk over to my cupboard and grab my pills. Amy's POV Reading this note killed me. There's also one other thing that I realize. And I realized it too late. I like Carson, I might even love him. He might even be gone. I look over to see Mitch and Kenny silently crying, not saying a word. "Do you, uh, wanna go to the hospital?" Kenny asks. I nod my head and I start crying even harder. Mitch sat with me in the back of Kenny's car and hugged me. "He's going to be fine." Mitch whispers. "I love him, Mitch. I realized it too late." I cry to him. The car ride was silent to the hospital, and when we arrived I waited silently behind Mitch and Kenny ask they asked the lady what room Carson was in. I let Mitch and Kenny go in first. They came out 10 minutes later and they were smiling. "He's alive?" I ask, worried. Mitch nods and tears of happiness spill from his eyes. I open the door and Carson slightly smiles at him. "Gosh, Carson.. I'm so sorry." I whisper as I sit on his bed next to him. "It's fine. Mitch told me how you asked him and he tried lying. I guess you were going to find out sometime." Carson smiles. I smile back and Carson sighs. "What's wrong?" I question. "A failed suicide? There's going to be so much talk when I go to school." "Carson, everyone loves you. They're going to be relieved you're not.. dead." I could barely even say dead. "Look, I just want every thing to go to normal. You be with Cole, because I want you to be happy. I'll find someone else someday. You just being happy means the world to me." "Carson, I need to tell you something." I tell him kind of scared. "What is it, Ames?" The words tumble right out of my mouth before I can even stop myself. "I love you." NOTE: I decided to show what the note said for Carson's POV and then Amy's also. Please leave some feedback? I'm in love with this story.
Relapsed again... I just want to give up.
Sometimes when I get home straight away after school.. I go in a shower. And I just sit there.. With the water just pouring over me.. And I just sit there and think. But what hurts the most is my inner fear of water. I hide that up alot.